John and Edwina
They were hungry for success
They were shinnin up that long and greasy pole
They were sure that they could make it
They knew they were the best
They had no doubts that they would reach their goal

One night as they were leavin
After a late division bell
She said why don't you walk with me a while
I know you're feelin lonely
You know I'll never kiss and tell
Now you're a whip* you can keep us off the file

All across the Telegraph
His name it did resound
Then Maggie said you are the chosen one
But you'll have to dump Edwina
She will only drag you down
Forget her now you've had your bit of fun

For many years she kept her word
But all the time he knew
she'd been writing up her diaries every night
And one day she would publish
And if she did he'd have to sue
And hope that Max could make everything all right


When John got back to basics
He was hanging by a thread
He let Tim and David fall upon their swords
He knew he couldn't make it
If she betrayed him he was dead
All he could do was pray she would keep her word

But how she did torment him
With her literary prowess
Those scenes of steamy sex and kinky underwear
And how he must have hated it
Although no one ever guessed
He was her parliamentary affair

But when it was all over
When his glory days were through
When he thought that she would never spill the beans
She came from out of nowhere
and her aim was sure and true
revenge so sweet ....oh baby - in your dreams