It ain't no use to sit and hike a leg , dude
Sniffin' your blow - by right now
It ain't no use to sit and hike a leg, dude
It didn't splatter , anyhow

If your pooter roars at the break of gas
Look out your window. if you shattered glass
That's a reason to go check out that ass
Don't fart twice, that ain't right

It ain't no use to turn the other cheek dude
The cheek you never showed
It ain't no use to turn the other cheek dude
You ought to head for the commode

Still I wish I had a can of Lysol spray
Just to try and make that stench go away
Maybe if the wind would blow the other way
Don't fart twice, that ain't right

I said" it's time we're haulin' out of here, Sal"
As you race me to the door
I said "It's time we're haulin' outta here, Sal"
That one was rotten to the core

That stink is a-wanderin' all the way down the road
It just came a-screamin' right outta that back hole
I see you need some shoes, 'cause that burned through your soles
Don't fart twice, that ain't right

They're talkin 'bout that long gruesome fart, dude
Where it's bound, how it smells
But gruesome is too good a word dude
To describe that bomb from hell

Now I ain't sayin' , you needed to unpack
But check your inner tubes, they're all outta whack
We found no weapons worse than that in Iraq
Don't fart twice, it ain't right