Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "A Lard Brain's A Gonna Call"

Original Song Title:

"A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"A Lard Brain's A Gonna Call"

Parody Written by:

Paul Wooten

The Lyrics

Record and play this for the next telemarketer who calls you
Oh why have you called, you lard brained tongue
Oh why have you called, you will hate this one...

I've jangled the nerves of 12 vestal virgins
I've talked with and busted 16 crooked con men
I've slept in a puddle next to my wife Doris
I've been on the outside of a dozen glazed donuts
And it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard
It's a lard brain who's gonna call

Oh, what did I see, you lard brained tongue?
Oh what did I see, you wheezin' black lung?

I saw a Jew born baby, with a foreskin still on it
I saw a highway of dyed blondes, with no brain upon it
I saw a smack ranch, while orange sunshine trippin'
I saw a room fulla drunk men, their bladders a leakin'
I saw nuns with sharp rulers, slap hands offa children
And it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard,
It's a lard brain, who's gonna call

And what did I hear, you lard brained tongue?
And what did I hear, you big pile of dung?

I heard the sound of a butt-burst, roar out with no warnin'
I heard the roar of a stomach, that redefined hurl
I heard one hundred lepers, whose ears were all missin'
I heard ten thousand hare-lips, and they were all lispin'
I heard one person barf, I heard many more gaggin'
I heard the dong of John Bobbit, as it hit the gutter
I heard the sound of Lorena, who fled down the alley
And it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard,
It's a lard brain, who's gonna call

Oh, who did I meet, you lard brained tongue?
Oh, who did I meet, you Chinee We Hung?

I met a dung pile, decidedly phony
I met a red man, who rode a white hog
I met a woman, whose teeth were a turnin'
I met a dumb girl, who raved at my brainglow
I met one man, who yanked it with gloves
I met another man, whose mother said Kate said

It's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard
It's a lard brain, who's gonna call

Oh, what'll I do now, you lard brained tongue?
Oh, what'll I do now, now that my brain's sprung?

I'm going to shut up, before you start bawling
I've talked 'bout the family of sexy dear Doris
Where the people are zany, and their tongues are on backward
Where the moshpits of Poison are all filled with potheads
And the prostitutioner's fate, is always well ridden
Where the plunger is handy, when bowls start to rotten
Where the crack of the plummer, gets shown what a whomper
And I'll smell it and stink it and reek it and heave it
Then I'll stand without motion, until I start pukin'
Is this a wrong number? I guess I'll stop speakin
It's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard, it's a lard
It's a lard brain, who's gonna call

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Birgitta - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
A twisted masterpiece! Excellent work Paul. :- )
Paul W. - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all your support, Birgitta. Don't know how many people even remember this song, which is kind of a parody in and of itself. Wrote that last nite during a look-see through old Dylan book. The wine helped.......LOL
Birgitta - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I hear ya..hehe-sippin' on a Bud or 2 here... Wrote another one myself.. ; ) KIT you crazy man...
Paul W. - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Left a coupla messages for ya at GB> Now I know why you ain't there. You're readin' all this fantastic stuff here and writin' some ur own self. See ya soon
Birg - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul-I'll go check my messages-& get your opinion on a couple of things,if you don't mind. (Hope you're still up..) :- )
MarthaDTox - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Fabulous parody and what a great song to parody!
Paul W. - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Martha. I always loved this song, it took a lot of vino to keep my brain from crampin' here.It was a tough one for me, but I kept thinking about those phone calls........
Roberts - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Been on the outside of a dozen glazed donuts? Good one!
zimmie - February 28, 2004 - Report this comment
wow

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/bobdylan56.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 815