there must be some food left in here
said the porker in his grief
there's nothin' worth chewin'
i can't get no relief
listen friend...i need to dine
hey man, dig my girth
guess i'll jump in the luncheon line
and get my money's worth

when eatin', i get excited
but yet i rarely choke
though i'm gettin' quite humongous
i feel that diets are a joke
there's no more pie
i've been through that
there's no more on my plate
i am ready for cupcakes now
the icing's really great

i'm not strong on will power
diets are taboo
and lots of ice cream came and went
lots of cheesecake, too

i have no resistance
when my stomach growls
when waiters are approachin'
then i begin to howl