May your boots protect you always,
May your steps find solid ground,
Unless you’re in the city zoo,
Approaching the dreaded brown.
May you dodge the squashing horror,
And the droppings of the young,
Just don’t walk, wherever dung.
Wherever dung, wherever dung.
Just don’t walk, wherever dung.

May you avoid the local parks,
Where the owners carry bags,
Makes you wonder who’s the boss,
The humans or the stags.
Pooper-scoopers on the lookout,
For the waste of dogs unsung,
Just don’t step, wherever dung.
Wherever dung, wherever dung.
Just don’t step, wherever dung.

May your sneakers keep their whiteness,
May your loafers always shine.
Avoid territorial leavings,
Of horses after they dine.
May you never sing like Dylan,
From the nasal, not the lung,
Please don’t stride, wherever dung.
Wherever dung, wherever dung.
Open your eyes, wherever dung.