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Song Parodies -> "Won't You Make It Snow?"

Original Song Title:

"Desolation Row"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Won't You Make It Snow?"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

Challenged by Cat.
It was once again that Christmas time
In most cities the snow falls down
And also in the city of Phoenix
Dear Santa comes around
But that city knew no winter
Until one year by chance
This was a night that messed up Santa
He nearly peed his pants
When a little girl so restless
Woke up before he could go
“Dear Santa, before you leave tonight
Oh, won’t you make it snow?

Oh dear Santa, it should be so easy!”
She told him in her winsome style
So charmed, Santa moved from the chimney
Thought he’d stay awhile
“Do you know what you are asking?
Is that what you truly believe?”
He also said, “It’s not my place, my child
I better leave”
With that, Santa turned stage left
And with a wink started to go
But Cecelia stepped it up—
“Please! Won’t you make it snow?

On a snow sled I’ve never ridden
That’s one thing I would like to try
And freestyle skiing, maybe
I would go cruising down a mountainside!
In Phoenix, here, I can’t do that
The hot weather’s always the same
You never expect to need a coat
Or even expect some rain
Plus, Frosty the Snowman I’m hoping
To see him like on that TV show
That is my Christmas Wish for tonight
Oh, won’t you make it snow?”

“Well Cecelia, come with me right now
You do not need to be afraid
On this trip, we can’t delay
We must go to see The Weather Maid
For she has powerful magic
It truly is the best
She determines the condition
Of Earth’s skies and all climates
She moves the rain and the clouds all on
Even the rainbow
She’s the one to be asking
To get your city’s snow”

Santa, as wise as he was good
Popped Cecelia in a trunk
She served as carry-on cargo
This young one full of spunk
Cecelia peeped out and got an eyeful
Of where those reindeer went
Through forests with green and red stripes
Where no mortals caused a dent
Santa had a look on his face that was slightly grim
Who’d thought they’d have so far to go
To find this magical maiden
And just to make it snow?

Weather Maid lived in a world
That seemed a bit mixed up
Where little eggs laid big chickens
And humans were walked by pups
Weather Maid lived in a castle
She looked like Glenn Close with a big black mole
Santa marched in with Cecelia
“I’ll do the talking, please lay low…
Dear Weather Maid, please won’t you help us?
Come so far, you know
If you could be so kind and fair enough
Please give Phoenix some snow?”

“Well now, my sweet, if you are certain
I hope you’re prepared for that!”
And without another word
Stretched her arms like a prowling cat
The sun then rose into a nova
And the Earth’s axis slightly swerved
The dark room filled with great radiance
And the walls got greatly curved
And the Maid then shouted some magic words
“Maximus dos precipio!
I move all the weather unto my bidding
LET PHOENIX HAVE SOME SNOW!”

Now soon enough, all the guys from
Phoenix Streets and San. Crew
Stood still and looked at everyone
They did not know what to do
And they closed the ice cube factory
Business quickly hit the skids
But there were mass sales of shovels
And all the little kids
Were building up snow castles
And the wind did howl and blow
And the parents you could see were all complaining
About that crazy snow

It snowed and snowed for two months
In Phoenix, on and on
With nobody mowing
Homeowners lost their lawn
The Phoenix Suns joined the NHL
Heating bills made people sour
And beachcombers got no tan
And gardeners no flowers
Honey vendors lost their bees
They moved to Tuckahoe
And nobody thought to drink iced teas
Due to having so much snow!

Cecelia came home from Santa’s sleigh
And found the septic tank had broke
The thing went overflowing
Thanks to Weather Maid’s big stroke
“But it was all in good intention!
Looks like things won’t be the same
Seems we’ll need to move from Phoenix
I’m the one that they all will blame
Maybe we’ll move to Hollywood
And shop a movie deal, you know
Steven Spielberg directs it—
‘Please Won’t You Make It Snow?’”
Copyright 2007, Agrimorfee

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   22
 22
 22
 

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome! 5s
alvin - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
monumental....indeed, it would make a great movie
AFW - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
It seems you've created a marvelous modern fairy tale, here...super job! ..Some good creative and very funny lines like, "She looked like Glenn Close with a black mole"....and, "The Phoenix Suns joined the NHL".....Great ending, too
John Barry - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Gets better and better as it builds and builds.
Matthias - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
McKludge - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Too bad the challenge was made in the summer. This would be much better received in another 5 months. But wait, can you get better than 555?
Johnny D - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee is a god.
stuart mcarthur - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
very lyrical and creative, Ag - and I liked the inverse relationship between the fortunes of ice businesses and shovel businesses - but what an epic song - definitely giving that one a miss - congrats on pulling it off - 555
Ann Hammond - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
wow
Agrimorfee - July 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you, one and all...I must say, for Johnny D to deem me a god is comparable to Yahweh bowing to the Buddha. :)
Cat - July 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic, Agri!! I knew you could do wonders with this, and up you came with this fabulous story!

And due to Stu's luck with an out-of-season winter parody, you think that'll be some sort of omen? ;)
Spaff.com - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Grrrreat. Could be your best ever.
Matthias - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Great to revisit this Christmas Carol, Agrimorfee you need to start recording my friend, because this would be sun (until people got frost bitten) by carolers in the streets every Christmas Eve.
Max Power - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Great
Red Ant - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Quite a story here, Aggy. Marvelous work on this monsterous OS. AFW already picked out "The Phoenix Suns joined the NHL" (my fav line). I wish it would snow here - 100+* weather sucks. Great ending, too. 555
Peter Andersson - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Quite a tale...
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A finely crafted tale, Agri...and a totally original idea. Coming from a country where Christmas sunburn is not ususual, I can totally relate. 555+
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Gotta agree with Kristof. This song's a bugger to write (I've nearly done mine!), and the topic was quite outta the blue. Brilliant one Agri!
Phil Alexander - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic.

...how appropriate - security code: "AG5"
stuart mcarthur - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above - yes, that OS is too tough for me, so big applause, Ag - Glenn Close has caused some problems in her lifetime hasn't she? - this should become the new Children's Book Xmas story - great imagination and creativity and story development Ag
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - "Be careful what you wish for" strikes again!
Jack Wilson - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "The Phoenix Suns joined the NHL" stuck out to me in this song. I give you props on such a hard parody, but I have always-and will always-hate this OS. . .it's hard for me to listen to it--but I did--It was a cute parody--that's the best way to describe it, but lord that song gives me a hangover feeling. . .
Matthias - March 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Utterly, utterly loathe the original song, but this really was a cute parody, and would be the perfect setup for a Christmas Special.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
A second Desolation Row song...very well done!
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY- Very well done, Agri. A heartwarming holiday classic. Now if you can do one about getting rid of the snow... there's way too much up here in Canada.
Jason - July 12, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABCW) Nice job here. Good lineup to Christmas.
Matthias - July 13, 2008 - Report this comment
This was some epic storytelling, and I still love the story to this song, but I HATE the original it's so goddarn boring!!!
Max Power - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
It's been a dry winter
Guy - July 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4W)

TMI (Too Much Imagery) "She looked like Glenn Close with a big black mole" but it really fit. This is amazing how you word smithed this into an epic instant classic. Just to tackle this OS scores mega-points from this author. Way over the top!
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) see above - the storyline does Bob Dylan proud, although the iced tea market in Phoenix might not be so complimentary
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-W) See above! Although now I have finished my Desolation Row - and it was a biatch. So you get a bonus 555 because now I understand how hard this OS is.
Below Average Dave - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
See my above comment. . .I don't think I will ever even try this song, not because I think I can't do it--but because doing it means listening to it again. . .and this song is on the same list as Rock Lobster is for me, although for a different reason. . .
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic epic here Agri...and you know I'm a big fan of "story" parodies. Many have already said what I'd agree with. “Maximus dos precipio! "stood out for me...sounds like a Harry Potter lick...
Matthias - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Long and painful to listen to, but thankful this computer I'm using doesn't have headphones. This was a great story, but right now it's a tad out of season.
bobpiecheese - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The good thing with winter parodies is that they're only out of season half the year, due to the whole opposite-season-in-opposite-hemisphere dealie. Oh, and see above. Oh, and 555.
Rex - March 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Very cute, and quite an effort. Enjoyed!
Red Ant - April 01, 2009 - Report this comment
A joy to revisit this one, Aggy.
Below Average Dave - April 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) My other two comments apply still, Agri I'm amazed that you took this one on, but I've never read a parody of this that I *love*, but still it's a good show of what you can achieve as the veteran you are.
Claude Prez - July 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Another great one I missed. I was always a fan of the original too. Very well done.
Agrimorfee - July 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks, Claude! You can see me read the work (thankfully not sing it) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8HCdP4P-xY . (And I am not too modest to mention I have 50+ videos of parody, sound art and very weird music on YouTube you can also enjoy)

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