How many roads can a man drive down
Before I admit I'm lost?
And how many pleas must my poor Jenny yell
Before she shows me who's boss?
Tell me how many times will she shout "Turn left here!"
Before I'll wish I was sauced?
The road thing, my friends, is always more than ten
My black eye's the answer from my Jen

How many skirts can a man look up
Before he sees more than thigh?
Tell me how many leers can one man sneak
Before he has one more black eye?
And how long 'till his breath peels the paint off the walls
'Till he knows his mouthwash has died?
My face looks, my friends, like ZORRO™ once again
The breath thing? I'm sleepin' in a tent...

So how many beers before mountin' a piss?
It's four, but that's just for me
Tell me how many Gere's before Gerbils insist
That they are allowed to run free?
Well now how many tries 'fore the gerbil is pissed
And knows this wheel doesn't spin?
The gerbil, my friend? there's no need to pretend...
The gerbil's just stuck there in the end