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Song Parodies -> "This Pizza Can't Be Eaten"

Original Song Title:

"Gates of Eden"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"This Pizza Can't Be Eaten"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

A little delivery problem here...
[instrumental intro]

I ordered pizza with cheese twists
and buff'lo wings on side
"I have coupon", I said real loud
"It's no good", said that guy
It made me mad, but I said, "OK son"
as he totaled up my tab
Food I need, soon pizza I'll be eatin'

"Where is that man", then said, "Oh darn"
I need that food real fast
My stomach groaned, it made me wail
I was craving food real bad
Made the call, on phone I squalled
While we hassled my pizza got cold
That clown still hadn't come yet with my pizza

Was sad, I told him, "You d*ck-head, I'm mad"
I then complained
That dude, a clueless dumb-ass acted deaf
I went insane
Son-of-a-bitch; hear what I say
at that sh*t-head I did rail
Finally at my gate; my pizza

With my thin-crusted pie he came
he said that he had lost his map
I said, "You dope; you're a worthless punk
I'm mad, I should kick your ass"
When I told him that this stupid guy
just stood there and he laughed
"Be nice, sir, or you will not get your pizza"

I gave a tip to that rude dip
then I went inside to dig in
Then I said, "Damn", because I did not see
Cheese twists or my buffalo wings
Had a temper fit then whined real long
"Those a**holes really stink"
Next time I will call somewhere else for pizza

I tried to call them back but all
their phone did was just ring
All I wanted was to ask them when
my side orders they would bring
To those bleeping, dick-head turds I'd say
"When will you bring my twists and wings?"
No answer, hung up phone and grabbed some pizza

That pizza had a real weird scent
and the sausage looked like snot
The peppers were not fresh
and the mushrooms gave off the odor of rot
"Damn, this pizza stinks", then in disgust
my meal I had to toss
It smelled so bad; no way it could be eaten

Was horrible, like sh*t it stunk
Unfed; I began to whine
And then down at my gate I see
that dumb-ass, stupid pizza-guy
Then he said, "Golly, I'm sorry, gee
seems I forgot about your wings and French fries"
Out of the trash I went and got that pizza

"You dumb-assed, mother-f*cker
you screwed up", at him I screamed
"I ordered wings, I don't want those fries
and my toppings appear unclean"
That guy just stood there as I cursed
and then he said, "Hey, dude
I brought your food, so guy, shut up and eat it"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day
Adagio - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
That reminds me of the paperboy (man):

"Be nice, sir, or you will not get your pizza"". except that I'm not a sir and it was a newspaper. : )
Jason - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Reminds me of my local Pizza Hut delivery when they got my order wrong, and another time my pizza arrived burnt! Well done (excuse the pun!). 555
Paul Robinson - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin, Pat & Jason ~ ~ ~
AFW - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Slices up nice...
Yoidy - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Peppa - funny! 555
Paul Robinson - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
AFW & Yoidy - Thanks!
Tully Salinkna - June 09, 2007 - Report this comment
LMFAO! This is probably my favorite amiright parody... even better than the \\'I Shot the Parrot\\' one!
TullyGirl - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Great!

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