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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Chew"

Original Song Title:

"I Want You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Chew"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

This OS is from Dylan's 1966 "Blonde on Blonde" album...
[instrumental intro]

my teeth all throb and ache; I cry
I moan and groan most of the night
I take pills to stay stoned; that's my
excuse; boo-hoo
my teeth cracked
don't work no more
holes and unfilled space adorns
now the hurt is great
I can't eat corn; I feel blue

I can't chew
no can do
eat soft food
that's bad
gumming; I must do

The tooth hygiene technician freaks
when she looks in to see my teeth
"Cannot save them, man, the rot's too deep"
then looks at you
Then I say, "Well, ma'am, that's kind of f*cked
it stinks that you can't fix them up
A task I was hoping that
someone could do"

"I can't do
it's sad, dude
but it's true
they're bad
buddy, they're all screwed"

Now I was bothered; I did frown
this sucks; you should not doubt it
and all because I had not found
the time to floss; a nitwit

When I returned for my dental plate
they fit tight; did not feel great
she said, "that way they must stay"
I looked at her
She said, "Look" to me
"they must fit snug or they'll come free"
I suppose that I should be pleased
that is what I gather

They feel screwed
in bad mood
I now brood
not glad
bummed me; and that's true

Now the dentist smiled; said, "they must be glued"
"You joke'" said me
I looked confused
"This blows, this is really screwed, my friend"
said I
That dentist looked in my eyes
and then calmly said, "Say, look here guy"
with contempt that he could not hide
said, "too bad, guy

You must glue
you must do
and then you will chew
again
then you'll eat real food..."

[instrumentals out to end fade]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
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 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   7
 6
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
You just had to write one about dentists, huh? = : o Good parody, in spite of the subject matter. 5's
alvin rhodes - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
painfully funny stuff
Kristof Robertson - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I can just imagine Dylan singing this while gumming at his harmonica. Brilliant fun! 555
PMS - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Bitingly funny. It compelled me to floss!
Paul Robinson - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
first chance I've had all day to look in! Thanks to all...Kristof - that's quite an image, isn't it...
Yoidy - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Watch out where the huskies go and don't chew the food! 555
Paul Robinson - January 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Yoidy!

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