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Song Parodies -> "Darn Asian Drivers"

Original Song Title:

"Paperback Writer"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Darn Asian Drivers"

Parody Written by:

Rice Cube & Watt Daddy

The Lyrics

A "FOB" is a "Fresh Off The Boat" immigrant. This parody is to honor Rice Cube's recent traffic transgressions, wherein he weaved and bobbed through traffic on I-680 at an average speed of 95 mph and got a couple very large and angry police officers chasing him for about 50 miles before he received a ticket.
Darn Asian driiiiiivers...(driver, driver)

Dear sir or madam, did you even look?
Goin' round that corner, barr'ling through that nook.
Does your Honda El'ment even steer?
You drive like a "FOB", so I'm cursing you darn Asian drivers...darn Asian DRIVERS!!

He's a little mental Oriental man
How he got his license I don't understand
Obey the laws or you'll go to jail,
Get an angry mob so we can deport those darn Asian drivers...darn Asian DRIVERS!!

Darn Asian driiiiiivers...(driver, driver)

There're 2 billion Asians, give or take a few,
How can they all drive just as poor as you?
I can take no more of your reckless style,
Why not look around, you're not alone you darn Asian drivers...darn Asian DRIVERS!!

Let the nice cop read you your Miranda rights,
You drive like you are wearin' dark shades at night.
You need a bumper car not a Mountaineer
Gawd you make my neck ache, you're nothing but a darn Asian driver...darn Asian DRIVER!!

Darn Asian driiiiiivers...(driver, driver)

Darn Asiiiiiian driiiivers...(darn Asian drivers)
Darn Asiiiiiian driiiivers...(darn Asian drivers)
...and in a way, we're all Asian.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   5
 2
 2
 
 5   8
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(bows respectfully to the writer of this parody) 5's
Guy - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Tell me that comment at the top about a 50 mile police chase is not true because if it is I think I saw Rice on Fox news. Haha. Fine parody. I'm clicking on 5 moving violations.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Rice Cube & Watt - In honor of one of the freeway 's heading up north from L.A. "I-5" you.
Rice Cube - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
No, I try to avoid the news whenever possible, lest my mommy have a heart attack :-D Thanks for the comments.
Jessica - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I told you to slow down! You're lucky they didn't go Rodney King on your @ss! All 5's. :-D
cheerleader - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Ya know, you should listen to Jessica ;)
Billy Florio - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job RIce
Watt Daddy - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
*A-hem*
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(correction: bows respectfully to the writerS of this parody)
Michael Pacholek - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
My mother likes to ask why big Americans drive little Asian cars, and little Asians like to drive big American cars. And my sister is constantly fuming about Asian drivers. I don't notice how bad Asian drivers are, because nearly everybody in New Jersey drives badly. Mainly because half of us learned how to drive in New York.
Dagwood - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with Jess and Cheer...slow your butt down.
Jeff Reuben - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Not bad!
John Jenkins - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember when "FOB" meant Friend of Bill (Clinton). Excellent parody.
DJ Avadoria - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not going to judge the artist as a driver, just as a parody writer...and so I say "Nice going!" I particularly liked, "He's a little mental Oriental man" !
lookielu - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
V. V. Funny. another perfect score for Rice and Watt...:)
Melhi - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Laugh Out Loud funny line (that I'm definitely going to be borrowing for real life use): "You need a bumper car not a Mountaineer" Great job, guys!
Peregrin - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry, forgot to comment when I voted! Hmmm, the original song look vaguely familiar Rice! Oops ! And Watt! I would have thought that averaging 95 mph for 50 miles with the fuzz chasing you would earn you a little something extra than a ticket...? "Beats me" what though!
Jared - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey guys, DKTOS so i'm not gonna vote, but you've got a ggod one here in terms of humor and just wanted to say good luck in the tourney!
Guy - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
This certainly is some healthy competition for the March SOTM. Good luck, Rice and Watt.
Adagio - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good one, esp. for the competition!! 5's
Meriadoc - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Well it was better than our Pizza Hut Driver, I think. Clever idea!
Spaff.com - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Another nice one from Rice Rice Baby and W. Diddy. Fave line: "There's two billion Asians, give or take a few."
Claude Prez - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny. Man, I missed a lotta good ones last month.
Paul Robinson - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Had to search for the link to this song, really good job here.
2nz - May 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice work with this song, Rice Daddy. I like the line "a little mental oriental man".
Yen - December 27, 2004 - Report this comment
lolz haha im asian and this song does make me laugh... but it's the majority of the old folks that are the worse drivers... im sure the next generation of younger asians grown up in a western society won't be anywhere near as bad
Disgusted - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
What other than a racist pig can write something like this and call it a parody?! I feel sorry for the composer that he has to be filled with so much hate in order to come up with this trash.
gheeman - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
here in the uk asian drivers are a bloody usless. they have no road sense and drive like idiots
Rice Cube - March 02, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm Asian.
Savage - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey Disgusted, it's not hate it's just yet another frustration from what you call "diversity" Obviously you've never had the pleasure of dealing with these drivers on a daily basis. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before spewing your own brand of hate.
JD - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
asianscantdrive.com
*Ash* - February 13, 2007 - Report this comment
This is fantastic!
wildcard - February 13, 2007 - Report this comment
It sure is!
Mitch - July 09, 2007 - Report this comment
So ummm how do i listen to these songs?
Nich - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Don't need the word "darn" in it. Change the lyics to be less hateful and more amusing, describe some of the things they do, pulling out without regard to who is coming, turning across two lanes of traffic without signaling, etc. Make it funny, not angry.

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