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Song Parodies -> "But Mr. Adams"

Original Song Title:

"But Mr. Adams"

Parody Song Title:

"But Mr. Adams"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Tonight (Friday April 23) is opening night for The Concord Players production of the musical "1776", in which I play Dr. Lyman Hall, delegate from Georgia. I've been working on parodies for the show's songs (of course!), and I'd like to share with you one of my "1776" parodies: "But Mr. Adams" - a song-and-dance number in which John Adams, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Robert Livingston, and Roger Sherman all try to figure out who should write the Declaration of Independence. Here is a link to an audio sample from the 1997 Broadway revival starring Brent Spiner (Mr. Data from Star Trek TNG) as John Adams: ... http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000000GU0/002-9368759-0928047?v=glance ........ Here is a link to a MIDI audio file of the entire song "But Mr. Adams" : ...... http://www.hamienet.com/6611.mid ..... And here is a link to the original lyrics of "But Mr. Adams": ..... http://thespia.topcities.com/1776/1776songs.html#but
(The parody's basic theme is that John Adams is a Patriotic Exhibitionist who never wears anything below the waist, and who is therefore trying to get Congress to approve a Declaration of Public Nudity)


(spoken)

(ADAMS: )
All right now gentlemen, let's get on with it... Which one of us shall write our Declaration of Public Nudity?

(singing)

(FRANKLIN: )
Mr. Adams, I say you, should write it
To your shameless self-exposure we defer

(ADAMS: )
Nay, sir, nay!
For if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it
They're all jealous of my wood, you know that, sir

(FRANKLIN, rolling his eyes: )
Whatever you say...

(ADAMS: )
So I say you should write it, Franklin, yes, you!

(FRANKLIN: )
Hell, no!

(ADAMS: )
Yes, you, Dr. Franklin, you!

(FRANKLIN: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(FRANKLIN: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(FRANKLIN: )
But!

(FRANKLIN: )
Mr. Adams
But, Mr. Adams
The things I write are pornographic entertainia
I put erotica on paper - that's my mania
So please peruse, and use your hand for Masturbania

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, LIVINGSTON, AND JEFFERSON: )
Mas-turbania!
Mas-turbania!
Peruse
And use
Your ha-a-a-a-and!

(ADAMS: )
Mr. Sherman, I say you, should write it
You are not an exhibitionist, no sir!

(SHERMAN, shrugging: )
Clothes are good...

(ADAMS: )
For if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it
They're all jealous of my wood, you know that, sir

(SHERMAN: )
What's a "wood" ?

(ADAMS: )
So I say you should write it, Sherman, yes you!

(SHERMAN: )
Good heavens, no!

(ADAMS: )
Yes, you, Roger Sherman, you!

(SHERMAN: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(SHERMAN: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(SHERMAN: )
But!

(SHERMAN: )
Mr. Adams
But, Mr. Adams
I dare not write about a topic such as nudity
It offends my sense of modesty and prudity
Besides which I might get aroused from all that crudity

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, LIVINGSTON, AND JEFFERSON: )
Ca-rudity!
Ca-rudity!
A horny cobbler he!

(ADAMS: )
Mr. Livingston, maybe you should write it
You have orgies in your downtown New York flat!

(FRANKLIN: )
Lusty whores!

(ADAMS: )
For if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, AND JEFFERSON: )
He thinks WE en-vy his wood, did you know that?

(LIVINGSTON: )
He's such a bore !

(ADAMS: )
So I say you should write it, Livingston, yes you!

(LIVINGSTON: )
Not me, Johnny!

(ADAMS: )
Yes, you, Robert Livingston, you!

(LIVINGSTON: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(LIVINGSTON: )
But!

(ADAMS: )
You!

(LIVINGSTON: )
But!

(LIVINGSTON: )
Mr. Adams
Dear Mr. Adams
I've been presented with an insult to my manly pride
So I am going home to shoot a gun be-tween the thighs
Of several bastards who said my man-hood could not a-rise!

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, LIVINGSTON, AND JEFFERSON: )
A-rise!
A-rise!
Livingston's going to shoot some guys!

(spoken)

(ADAMS: )
Well, Mr. Jefferson...?

(singing)

(JEFFERSON: )
Mr. Adams,
Fig-leaf your groin!

(spoken)

(ADAMS: )
Mr. Jefferson -

(JEFFERSON: )
Mr. Adams, I beg you, we've had enough of you swinging your Johnson around these six months!

(ADAMS: )
"...and we solemnly declare we will dress lightly in the midst of the summer's heat, being with one mind resolved to die cool men, rather than to live as sweat-hogs."
Thomas Jefferson, "On The Stupidity Of Wearing Wool In The Summer", 1775 - magnificent ... You write ten times better than any man in Congress, including me. For a man of only thirty-three years you possess a happy talent for composition and a remarkable felicity of expression. Now, Mr. Jefferson - will you be a nudist...or a prudist?

(JEFFERSON: )
A prudist.

(ADAMS: )
No!

(JEFFERSON: )
But I might get aroused, Mr A !

(ADAMS: )
So might I, Mr. J !

(FRANKLIN: )
John, you can still get it up?

(SHERMAN: )
Really?

(LIVINGSTON: )
Who'd have thought it!

(singing)

(ADAMS: )
Mr. Jefferson
Dear Mr. Jefferson
Although I still possess my potent male virility
No sweaty Congressmen can make my Johnson stiff, you see -
Only my dear wife Abigail has that ability!

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, AND LIVINGSTON: )
That ability!
That ability!
Has-that-a-bi-li-

(spoken)

(ADAMS: )
QUIET !!!
Now, you'll write it, Mr. J.!

(JEFFERSON: ) (Six-foot-three)
Who will make me, Mr. A.?

(ADAMS: ) (Five-foot-eight)
I !

(JEFFERSON: )
You?

(ADAMS: )
Yes!

(JEFFERSON: )
How?

(ADAMS: ) (Taps Jefferson on chest with quill pen)
By--by physical force, if necessary! It's your duty--your duty, dammit!!

(singing)

(JEFFERSON: )
Mr. Adams
Damn you, Mr. Adams
You're unclothed below the waist and now you've realized
That you need my help to get your Johnson legalized

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, AND LIVINGSTON: )
" Le-ga-lized..."

(JEFFERSON: )
Ohhhh Mr. Adams, you are begging to be CIRCUMCISED!!!

(FRANKLIN, SHERMAN, AND LIVINGSTON: )
Circumcised!
Circumcised!
We
May
Hear
John scream
Yet!


"1776" by The Concord Players . . . www.concordplayers.org

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jenn - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff! My boyfriend Tom Sullivan referred me to your site. It's almost as good as your portrayal of Dr. Hall! Brilliant!
Rick D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I have this vision of you accidently singing this during a performance.
Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jenn! Tom does a wonderful job portraying Rev. William Emerson in The Concord Prologue! Thank you for your kind words.

Rick - I'm not in this musical number, so I can parody it with complete safety! Thanks for your vote.
Tom - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I think this could be the start of a great parody of the entire show. I can see it now. . . "1769"!
Adagio - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I LOVE this, Johnny! It's so entertaining! 5's
Jack Wilson - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
1776 555s!
Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Tom, Adagio, and Jack!
Mark - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Very clever. Definitely an eagle, certainly no turkey...
Paul Robinson - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - I got your note back with the Web site posting for the Concord Players and took a brief look. Thanks! It's late and I'm tired, but I promise to come back tomorrow and listen to the link & check this out when I'm a bit fresher. I didn't even try to read it yet (except the "Intro"), I think I'm gonna some fun. Hey, congratulations on Opening Night, I'm sure it went well.
Leo Jay - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Interesting -- if bizarre -- idea. Well done! Nice to see something from this under-appreciated musical.
Johnny D - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Leo Jay - please check out my two other "1776" parodies:

"Is Anybody There?"

http://amiright.com/parody/60s/1776broadwaycastoriginal1969reviva­lwithbrentspiner19972.shtml

"Prude Prude Inhibited Men"

http://amiright.com/parody/60s/1776broadwaycastoriginal1969re­vivalwithbrentspiner19971.shtml
Stray Pooch - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, U B 1 sick puppy - lol! This has got to be the strangest take on 1776 I have ever seen! I love it! What's next, "Mama, Look Shocked!"? 555
Johnny D - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Stray Pooch! I was thinking of "Momma, Cook Shark".
Amy - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh my god, what a riot! I'm writing a parody of "But Mr. Adams" at this exact moment, and went online to look up what the lines were immediately before the song started (and who said them), as I had forgotten for a moment, and that's what brought me to your parody. I'm an actor/writer, and I LOVE "1776"...I want to see a gender-reversed version of '1776" someday, because it's not fair that women don't get to play these great, interesting, hilarious roles! Anyway, nice work. I love that you stayed so true to Sherman's personality ("clothes are good!"). :-)
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Amy!
Kraken - May 17, 2006 - Report this comment
i thought that this this was very funny and portrays the real "But Mr. Adams" song. I'm playing Stephen Hopkins in a performnace of 1776 at my school
Candi - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Lol, this is so funny! We had to watch this movie for school and I was looking for the answers to some movie questions for homework. I just cant resist clicking on things that say "parody", sooooo... Btw, this is my favorite song in the whole movie ;)
Friday Knight - July 09, 2012 - Report this comment
You are an ass.
Porfle Popnecker - July 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Extremely entertaining.

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