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Song Parodies -> "We're Freaky"

Original Song Title:

"This Is Me"

Original Performer:

The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"We're Freaky"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

We got a face that looks like pork
Run away, you’ll say
Eyelids inflamed, covered with warts
We learned to scare shoppers at the Wal-Marts
They don’t play, they pray
Their kids won’t have emotional scars

‘Cause our scalp looks like Dutch Apple pie crust
We gotta wear a hood so no face pops out
We’re unshaved, snaggle-toothed
So mismatched aesthetically, we’re freaky
Freak out, ‘cause here we come
Four double chins make us look slocum
Lots of moles on our bean
Such a pathology, we’re freaky

We are so morbidly xanthodontic
And you might also say we’re really quite cellulitic
We can’t get no help from Mary Kay
Skin singeing from the sun (easily sunburnt)
Yeah looks like steak that’s overdone
Skin cells flaking off like dust
Yes, some of us are quite leprous
We are so naus-e-ous

Our pocks are deep-set fjords that are oozing down
Gotta wear two bags, in case one drops out
Flesh is green or chartreuse
Ergotic of St. Anthony, we’re freaky
Look out, ‘cause here we come
Maculous, like algae scum
Got the defective genes
Bad genealogies, we’re freaky

Whoooaaaaaaa…..We’re freaky

We all know that seeing us is tough
A side glance just makes you rebuff
Chins with cheesy curds, little bumps with crowns
Eyes all shot with blood, really gross you out
Look like slaves so abused
Otherworldly reverie, we’re freaky
Look out ‘cause here we come (my head’s shaped like my bum)
No plastic surge-ry could overcome (overcome, overcome)
This abominable scene
Sing this doxology, we’re freaky

When we go out for a night on the town
We gotta wear a hood
‘Fore we get found out
(ohhh ohh) So freaky
Copyright 2018, Agrimorfee. Partially inspired by excerpts of 'Infinite Jest' by David Foster Wallace, of which a few of the words he used (and I had to look up definitions for) I blithely appropriated here.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   2
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User Comments

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Matthias - February 23, 2018 - Report this comment
Very appropriate topic choice for this parody because the song was sung by all of the freaks in The Greatest Showman! There were a LOT of difficult words that I didn’t know the meaning to in here... Words like slocum, xanthodonic, cellulitic and Ergotic... You must have been taking lessons from Peter Andersson.
Agrimorfee - February 23, 2018 - Report this comment
Yeah, I was trying to make the "freakishness" in the parody as extreme as possible compared to what the original song was representing. The specific inspiration I got from David Foster Wallace's novel is a scene where a character is reading an advertisement for an "ugly people" support group.
Gorp - February 23, 2018 - Report this comment
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry!
Peter Andersson - February 23, 2018 - Report this comment
I never told anyone this before, but as a child I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot, I was so scary not even the dog wanted to play with me unless my father hanged a pork chop in a string around my neck!

Oh the memories! *breaks down crying*

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