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Song Parodies -> "Kick Their Ass"

Original Song Title:

"Raise Your Glass"

Original Performer:

Pink

Parody Song Title:

"Kick Their Ass"

Parody Written by:

Christian Faux Pas

The Lyrics

As of now (August 2011), you can still be saved from having to go to hell through faith alone in Jesus Christ (specifically His finished blood atonement for your sins). But after us saved (born-again) Christians are raptured off of the Earth, grace will no longer be free. There will be a seven-year period of "great tribulation" for those left on Earth, after which the Lord Jesus will return to Earth with us on white horses to smite those who still reject Him. Revelation 19:11-16 "And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS." Revelation 14:20 "And the winepress was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs." This song is sung by a new Christian girl who just learned about these things in Sunday School, and being rightly disgusted by the world system she was just removed from, she feels like skipping over the present time (when we are to preach the saving gospel of Christ to lost people) and get straight to the battle, because like many "babes in Christ" (1 Corinthians 3:1), she has a lot of zeal but not a lot of wisdom, patience, compassion, or refined language; hence her inappropriate use of the word "ass" (although it could be a double-entendre, for in a sense, all lost people are "asses" - Job 11:12 "...though man be born like a wild ass's colt.") Tis a rare person indeed that can appreciate the cuteness of such a girl!
God's right, we're gonna fight.
You're gonna lose your souls tonight.
Sin will take its toll.

Catholic mass is Satan's cup.
Light the fuse, blow the Vatican up.
Heads are gonna roll.

Bible trashers, mormon bastards,
sluts and fags and lying pastors.
No reversing - Show no mercy.
Christ is leading us

So kick their ass if they are wrong.
Embrace the right way.
Battle all day long.
Kill God's enemies enemies.
Smash those heathen down
and paint the earth red.
No more "turning cheeks"
Context matters now splatter them.
Kick - their - ass
Just gallop and gallop and
kick - some - ass

Slam slam, you're all damned
Don't try to claim you didn't understand.
You kicked Jesus out. (He's coming back.)
Won't stop, coming in hot.
You will be chopped up right on the spot.
It's so on right now. (Too late, you had your chance.)

Drunk-drive crashers, muslim bastards,
pimps and whores and phony pastors,
faggots prancing, dirty dancing.
Sin is serious.

So kick their ass if they are wrong.
They hate the right way.
Battle all night long.
Slay God's enemies enemies.
Smash those heathen down
and paint the earth red.
No more "turning cheeks"
We don't come in peace come in peace.
Kick - their - ass
Just come on and come on and
kick - their - ass
Take no prisoners prisoners;
kick - their - ass
Just stomp 'em and stomp 'em and
kick - their - ass

(Preacher, the pews are empty. That sucks.)

So if you're "too cool for church"
and you hate the Bible worse
and the gospel that we tell,
you can always, you can always
worship God from hell.

Let's kick their ass 'cause they are wrong
and hate the right way;
They're not "underdogs";
They're God's enemies enemies.
Smash them to the ground
and paint the dirt red.
Their religion stinks.
So kick their ass if they are wrong.
Embrace the right way.
Battle all day long.
Kill God's enemies enemies.
Smash those heathen down
and paint the earth red.
No more "turning cheeks"
Context matters now splatter them.
Kick - their - ass
Just slice 'em and dice 'em and
wup - their - ass
Our Lord Jesus is coming to
kick - your - ass (You'll see)
He's coming and coming to
take Earth back (to keep)
If you want to get on the right side, it's easy before the rapture: Click here to learn how to be saved. Click here to read the Bible online.

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