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Song Parodies -> "One Ring (from 'LOTR: OMG')"

Original Song Title:

"One Thing"

Original Performer:

One Direction

Parody Song Title:

"One Ring (from 'LOTR: OMG')"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

This parody forms part of a new project I've got going: to create a Lord of The Rings musical for the YouTube Generation. Some might consider such a thing sacrilege - I consider it 'attempting to bring a deep and involved epic to those masses with a short attention span.' Which some might STILL consider to be sacrilege. ;^)

Anyway, here's the first offering. In my fantasy auditions I've cast four members of boyband sensation One Direction as the hobbits (don't ask me which four, I'm not a fan or anything!) with Adam Levine from Maroon 5 playing Aragorn (reasons for that will become clear later.) This covers the hobbits' flight from Hobbiton.

And heck, I might even get around to recording some of these at some point in the future! But until then, here's a link to the original song.
(FRODO)
Uncle Bilbo you tool
This gift you gave me’s not cool
Gandalf told me "Be brave,
Mid-dle Earth you must save."

(SAM )
So now we gotta fight?
’Sure that script is right?
Don’t kick butt we just eat
We’re not even four feet

(MERRY and PIPPIN)
Something’s going wrong now
All these dudes in black keep ap-pear-ing
And they’re tracking Frodo somehow
‘Cos they want that One Ring

(ALL 4 HOBBITS)
So get out, get out of Hobbiton town
‘Cos all kinds of crap’s just gone down
We don’t, don’t know how deep Frodo’s in
But he did a dumb thing
When he took that One Ring

(FRODO)
Now they’re after my balls
And I don’t like it at all
That Precious ring is all mine…
(SAM)
Don’t think that’s your line…

(MERRY and PIPPIN )
But we’re off again now
‘Cos these creepy guys just won’t give in
And it makes you wonder just how
They know ‘bout that One Ring

(ALL 4 HOBBITS)
Oh jump on, jump on this crappy old boat
And let’s all just hope it still floats
They won’t, they won’t chase this ferry thing
‘Cos they suck at swim-ming
We’ll hide out, hide out in this town called Bree
Though it makes us all look ti-ny
Frodo chill out and just keep drinking
We’ll all do that drunk thing
‘Cos you’ve got that One Ring

Woahhh….
Oh no-ohhhh….
Where did Fro-do go-ohh..?

(FRODO)
I wore that One Ring!

(STRIDER)
Get up, get up, get up off the floor
And don’t wear that damn ring no more!

(ALL 4 HOBBITS)
Whoa - tell us, tell us who the heck are you?
How’d you know about the Ring too?

(STRIDER)
I don’t have time to fill you guys in
You need to be hidin’!
So come up, come upstairs, hide in the gloom (FRODO: Hide in your room..?)
Of this tavern’s biggest bedroom
I won’t, I won’t let Black Riders in
That would be the worst thing
If they found that One Ring!

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - Shire joy! Keep the big project going...it can be very rewarding and the labor of love. ;D
Callmelennie - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
You're getting pretty epic yourself, Wendy
AFW - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
Good script writing, there
WarrenB - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
Interesting concept. Am looking forward to more of your musical take on the story.
Lifeliver - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
The song's a bit 'modern' for my taste but I can see why you chose it - a lot of neat subs in the offing. I especially liked Sam's 'Don't think that's your line'. I'm looking forward to more too.

Interesting you should direct it to the 'masses with short attention span'. I thought that's what the LOTR-FOTR movie already was, with many omissions and role changes for the characters at that stage. In the book the journey from Bilbo's birthday disappearance to Rivendell spans some 200 pages. As PJ and his chief script writers Fran Walsh and Phllippa Boyens explain it, the story would never have gotten started.

It's odd that nobody's used the new movie as parody fodder yet, except (cough) me:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/camelotsoundtrackrichardharris0.shtml

I only mention it because it appeared at a time when the usual Tolkien-lovers didn't seem to be around and it seems to have gotten buried under the holiday season, as these things do. As I value your comments very much, I'm interested to hear what you think if you can find the time.
Wendy Christopher - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the lovely comments, everyone - much appreciated, as always. :^)

@Lifeliver: That's exactly the reasoning behind this project, funnily enough. I was spending a lot of time around college-age teens when the LOTR movies were out (I was a mature student on a Performing Arts course) and I can clearly remember them all saying stuff like "Aww, those Lord of the Rings films - they're, like, soooo loooonnnngggg! And there's, like, sooooo much talking in them!" As someone who's actually read the books (albeit a long time ago) that used to make me laugh - particularly since these were fellow Performing Arts students talking! So there's a social tribe out there for whom even PJ's movies were just too much like hard work - and that's who this project is aimed at. The criteria I've set for it is to use fairly big-hitter songs less than a decade old (less than five years old ideally) and to cover as much of the story as possible within those songs. I might also have to include young-people-type-slang a lot as well (oh god, could I have sounded any more like an old git then if I tried?!)

Oh yes - and I checked out your Radagast parody too. Top job - I left comments :^)
Lifeliver - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the enlightenment, Wendy. Performing arts students? Shame on them. Put them on a permanent diet of Woody Allen films, with a dessert of Citizen Kane and Twelve Angry Men.

Personally I think the talky bits are the best part - the relationships between Gandalf and Frodo, Aragorn and Arwen/Eowyn, Denethor and his sons, to name just a few, make for high drama, then there's the comic relief of Merry and Pippin, Sam and Gollum. And I understand your problem with young slang. Don't worry, their own offspring will exact their own revenge in due course.

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