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Song Parodies -> "Adolf Hitler vs Joseph Stalin"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Music Choice

Parody Song Title:

"Adolf Hitler vs Joseph Stalin"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Epic Rap Battles of History!

The Fuhrer Adolf Hitler


Joseph "Uncle Joe" Stalin


Communism, ha! Got off to a bad start
Killed the Tsar and family following Karl Marx
Artificial famine in 1930s Ukraine
Killed 7 million before people ever cursed MY name
Killing your own people as if it were an art
Vlad the Impaler... HE had more of a heart!
Purged all intellectuals as well as Generals
Caused early war set backs, made the Red Army ineffectual!

Listen, postcard painter, you once Brown Shirt wretch
I don't care if you were in the Great War stuck in a trench
You have as much military potential as your corporal rank
Blitzkrieg worked on Poles and French, but against Britain stank
Couldn't cross the Channel nor fight in the air
And now you wanna take on the great strength of the Bear?!?

Oh, Joe, how you gesture and bluster
But fighting the Finns turned out a blunder
You were so fooled by the Non-aggression pact
That when the Whermacht struck you were taken aback
Hundreds of thousands of your troops gave up without fight
As my panzers and troops covered 50 miles by night
We didn't have enough ammo to kill them outright
But we'll keep going until your Red Square's in sight!

You may have your weapons and Luftwaffe in air
But at Stalingrad you choked, 6th Army despair
At Kursk you had Tigers, thought you'd plow through
Until my T-34s and Sturmoviks annihilated you
Have you on the run back to your borders
Since '43 no Officer wants to take your insane orders!

Will destroy you, got many secret weapons
Bring it on, I've got 200 full strength divisions
You'll feel my wrath and feel my thunder
Stuck in a Bunker? The whole world will be happy when you're 6 feet under!!!

Zhukov's got it covered...

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide

Epic Rap Battles of History...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 79

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   22
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   56

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Olie O'Leahy - July 06, 2015 - Report this comment
The winner is Mike Pacholek, although Hitler came off much better than Stalin. The loser, as always, is the scoring blitz of undeserved 5s, which will be slightly corrected by 111. Learn to spell "Wehrmacht."
Rob Arndt - July 06, 2015 - Report this comment
First off, I wasn't trying to be like MP. I actually watch ERBOH on Music Choice and am a fan of them. Two, the misspelling was due to frequent battles with spell checker system. I of all people here know all German military terms. I just have to convince my machine that I know better than it! And lastly, I have no idea why some people comment and some don't. It happens to others too. Now try to get over yourself and your pettiness!
Rob Arndt - July 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Who says Michael Pacolek has a monopoly on ERBOH songs? I thought the purpose of this site was for authors to use as many songs and artists as possible in all categories of music. I am entitled to do my version(s) as well as anyone else. Since these battles are performed by a multitude of rappers, both Pacholek's versions and mine are in reality new songs and only parodies of the format. And Olie, old chum, where is your parody of this format? I can't find you listed. For all I know you could be MP himself! Be a good lad and do your own parodies under your own name or make comments under your real name.
Patrick - July 07, 2015 - Report this comment
A battle between two opponents who actually did do battle. My old spellchecker choked on German terms, too.
Michael Pacholek - July 18, 2015 - Report this comment
It wasn't terrible, but the pacing was well off, and it wasn't particularly funny. Needed more zingers. If you've watched the original ERBs, you'd have seen both the Hitler vs. Vader trilogy and the Russian free-for-all that ended Season 2, and you'd have seen both Hitler and Stalin get off some real zingers. I suppose you could blame Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein! (Yes, I like the Untergang parodies too.)
Rob Arndt - July 18, 2015 - Report this comment
MP, I think we are the only ones here who watch ERBOH. I watch mine off Xfinity Music Choice, but they only have 7 up right now. Saw RoboCop vs Terminator last. I saw more on YouTube. I was intrigued by your format, so I did one and everyone tried to say I was copying you! Absurd. I could have wrote longer but I don't do rap well. I also use big words in many of my parodies which throws the pacing slightly off. In this rap, the sequence is based on chronology. Maybe I will do Adolf Hitler vs Winston Churchill... someday!!!

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