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Song Parodies -> "Can't Escape"

Original Song Title:

"Can't Be Tamed"

Original Performer:

Miley Cyrus

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Escape"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Song mockery!

I opened my closed eyes, now my vision is hazy
Dark, as I awakened
Can’t tell what time of the day
There’s no clock I guess

Then this guy standing there summoned a band of henchmen
Asked me dozens of questions
None that made much sense
Under spotlight stress

I told them I was wondering why they cuffed my hands
These violent strangers clearly improvised their plan
Cause now I’ve been borrowed til ya pay a thousand grand
Or I’m gonna be so stranded and damned…

I can’t esCAPE
My hands are TAPED
And man, they’re CHAFED
From strain-ing-on-these-damn, they SCRAPE!
These bands and CHAINS!
I can’t be SAVED!!
This can’t be! (Can’t be)
I can’t esCAPE!!!!

So here in detention there's no comprehension but smell, yeah
And my ears have swelled up
This cell is a roach motel

I got in trouble because of the screaming, I'm gagg-ed
Furnace turned up, I panic
Go completely pantless
(I’m hot like that)

I’m eating flies and rats and grime from off the floor
Then vomit beetle parts (or something - I don’t know)
I guess these guys forgot that I'm a monophobe
Maybe allow me a phone...

I can’t esCAPE!
I’m half inSANE!
Deprived, dePRAVED!
And worst-of-all-I-have-n’t SHAVED!!
My pants are STAINED!
From crap and MANGE!!
I'm trapped, please
(Can't breathe)
I can’t esCAPE!!!

How long have I been away? I cry, what's the delay?
I'm willing to wait, but why so late? Just send in the CIA
Come saaaaaaaaave me...
Come saaaaaaaaave me...
Come saaaaaaaaave me...
Come saa-aaaaa-aaaa-aaaaa-aaaaaaave me...

I almost cried 'cause I'd spent five months here alone
When someone took apart my bonds and let me go
Took him a while, but Daddy Cyrus found the dough!
“Get out right now or get choked… “

I’ve just escaped!
The ransom waived!
I’ve been un-slaved!
Now I’m front PAGE!!
I'm back to FAME!!!
Now no one, no one
Can ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever playing with the music video (I believe you did that yesterday because the video was all about soccer). I think I figured something out about you EmiLoca now I just need to see if there are zombies in that Lady GaGa video...
DJ Blaze - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, haven't heard a parody from you in a while! Great job on the rhyme subs. 555

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