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Song Parodies -> "Aragorn (from LOTR:OMG)"
Original Song Title:
"Payphone"
Original Performer:
Maroon 5
Parody Song Title:
"Aragorn (from LOTR:OMG)"
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
Another song from my 'Lord of the Rings for The YouTube Generation' musical project. In my imaginary auditions, Adam Levine from Maroon 5 made the cut as Aragorn, so this is his big number. And it seems being the human hero of an epic fantasy trilogy is not the jammy gig it might appear to be...
One condition of Adam being given this part was that he left his rapper mate at home, which means I can use this version of the original song..
One condition of Adam being given this part was that he left his rapper mate at home, which means I can use this version of the original song..
I am Ar-a-gorn, secretly I’m born
To be the King of all Middle Earth
‘Til then a stranger, dressed like a ranger
A.k.a Strider for what it’s worth
Yeah I, I realise as a job it’s -
Not what you’d call very hip
But I’m protecting the hobbits
‘Cos I’m in the Fellowship
My hair could do with a shampoo
I hardly get any sleep
I’d take some time out but I’m too-
Busy ‘cos I have to keep
My ear to the ground
List’ning for the sound
Of orcs running round
That’s how they get found
I’m not by myself
This dwarf and that elf
Are sharing the wealth
Yes I’m Ar-a-gorn, aloof and for-lorn
‘Cos I’m not with my elven princess
My sword got broken, that’s why I’m mopin’
My life just couldn’t suck any less
My ‘Happy Ever After’ I won’t see
Until the end of this tri-lo-gy
Got a necklace of eternity
Now I’ll live forever, lucky me… woooohh….
Went in the mines of Moria
Fought a cave troll underground
Gollum don’t think I don’t see ya
I know you’re hanging around
It was a shocker I must say
We knew that Balrog was bad
He tried to get in the way-
But that just made Gandalf so mad
Said “You shall not pass”
Fell in that crevasse
I’ll have to kick ass
Now with Legolas
I pre-fer Gimli,
Not that elf ‘cos he
Looks cuter than me
I am Ar-a-gorn, ever so careworn
Fighting for ev’rything true and just
Got through a blizzard, but lost the wizard
Then my mate Boromir bit the dust
This crappy run of luck is just the pits
Orcs have kidnapped two of our hobbits
And Sam and Frodo left they were so pissed
Things could not get any worse than this
Yeah who’d be Ar-a-gorn?
(Oooooohhh… yeah, yeah…)
Well this is just Part Two
And so far we’re not even halfway through
So stick around there’s still a lot to do
Rohan, King Theoden and Helm’s Deep too!
But I am Ar-a-gorn, don’t treat me with scorn
‘Cos I’m a king and that would be rude
Gandalf is back – wow, he’s levelled up now
From grey to white, that guy’s such a dude!
King Theoden is looking quite unfit
‘Cos that Grima Wormtongue’s such a git
But me and my bros are fixing it
We won’t tolerate that kind of shit
‘Cos I am Ar-a-gorn..!
To be the King of all Middle Earth
‘Til then a stranger, dressed like a ranger
A.k.a Strider for what it’s worth
Yeah I, I realise as a job it’s -
Not what you’d call very hip
But I’m protecting the hobbits
‘Cos I’m in the Fellowship
My hair could do with a shampoo
I hardly get any sleep
I’d take some time out but I’m too-
Busy ‘cos I have to keep
My ear to the ground
List’ning for the sound
Of orcs running round
That’s how they get found
I’m not by myself
This dwarf and that elf
Are sharing the wealth
Yes I’m Ar-a-gorn, aloof and for-lorn
‘Cos I’m not with my elven princess
My sword got broken, that’s why I’m mopin’
My life just couldn’t suck any less
My ‘Happy Ever After’ I won’t see
Until the end of this tri-lo-gy
Got a necklace of eternity
Now I’ll live forever, lucky me… woooohh….
Went in the mines of Moria
Fought a cave troll underground
Gollum don’t think I don’t see ya
I know you’re hanging around
It was a shocker I must say
We knew that Balrog was bad
He tried to get in the way-
But that just made Gandalf so mad
Said “You shall not pass”
Fell in that crevasse
I’ll have to kick ass
Now with Legolas
I pre-fer Gimli,
Not that elf ‘cos he
Looks cuter than me
I am Ar-a-gorn, ever so careworn
Fighting for ev’rything true and just
Got through a blizzard, but lost the wizard
Then my mate Boromir bit the dust
This crappy run of luck is just the pits
Orcs have kidnapped two of our hobbits
And Sam and Frodo left they were so pissed
Things could not get any worse than this
Yeah who’d be Ar-a-gorn?
(Oooooohhh… yeah, yeah…)
Well this is just Part Two
And so far we’re not even halfway through
So stick around there’s still a lot to do
Rohan, King Theoden and Helm’s Deep too!
But I am Ar-a-gorn, don’t treat me with scorn
‘Cos I’m a king and that would be rude
Gandalf is back – wow, he’s levelled up now
From grey to white, that guy’s such a dude!
King Theoden is looking quite unfit
‘Cos that Grima Wormtongue’s such a git
But me and my bros are fixing it
We won’t tolerate that kind of shit
‘Cos I am Ar-a-gorn..!
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| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
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Your Fellowship "rings" true. I can't wait for the next istallment. ;D
Very upbeat and swingy..really .puts one in the Hobbit habit..
Great series Wendy-555!
I must admit these are the last two things I'd expect to be combined for a parody, but you've made a catchy success here! I love it! 555
never watched LOTR but I liked this parody nonetheless and points for not using the rap version! 555
Now that I understand your parameters better I'm able to appreciate what you're doing here more and your OS choices. Fave lines - 'My hair could do with a shampoo' and 'Not that elf 'cos he looks cuter than me'.
Aragorn goes by a dozen or more names - leave that out! Did you know he's actually a distant relative of his bride as a descendant of Elros, first king of the Numenorians who was the twin brother of Elrond but chose a mortal life? A little gross-factor incest shock might have stirred up your inattentive audience. Aragorn died at the age of 210 and was in his eighties at the time of the Wars of the Rings. Um - better leave that out too.
Great stuff, Wendy - here's a deposit of 555s on the next instalment.
Aragorn goes by a dozen or more names - leave that out! Did you know he's actually a distant relative of his bride as a descendant of Elros, first king of the Numenorians who was the twin brother of Elrond but chose a mortal life? A little gross-factor incest shock might have stirred up your inattentive audience. Aragorn died at the age of 210 and was in his eighties at the time of the Wars of the Rings. Um - better leave that out too.
Great stuff, Wendy - here's a deposit of 555s on the next instalment.
Thanks for all the comments everyone :^)
@Lifeliver: What's royalty without a little incest? ;^D (I believe Charles and Camilla are related if you go back far enough - although uncomfortably not THAT far..!) Yeah, a pensioner Aragorn might not have drawn in the laydees so much... And Frodo was 50 when he got to Rivendell, wasn't he? Because hobbits don't officially become 'proper adults' until they're about 30 - another reason I suspect I might actually be one..!
@Lifeliver: What's royalty without a little incest? ;^D (I believe Charles and Camilla are related if you go back far enough - although uncomfortably not THAT far..!) Yeah, a pensioner Aragorn might not have drawn in the laydees so much... And Frodo was 50 when he got to Rivendell, wasn't he? Because hobbits don't officially become 'proper adults' until they're about 30 - another reason I suspect I might actually be one..!
Lots of great lines, but the gamer in me just loved "Gandalf is back – wow, he’s levelled up now" :)
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