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Song Parodies -> "Need Food Now"

Original Song Title:

"Need You Now"

Original Performer:

Lady Antebellum

Parody Song Title:

"Need Food Now"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

A lament for all women (and probably even a lot of men these days) who haven't quite achieved that Hollywood movie star body just yet(!)

And here's a link to the guilty pleasure that is the original song.
My fat photo’s stuck on our refrigerator door
So I won’t slip up but it’s not working anymore
Jenny Craig love, has it ever crossed your mind
Your weight-loss plan is quite unkind?

It’s Day Seven of my diet, whole house is quiet and I need food now
I should say no thanks or I’ll burst out’ my Spanx* but I need some chow
I’m not used to trying to do without… I just need food now!

So now I’m on the Atkins, sounded like a dieter’s dream
But it’s not so easy pigging out on meat and cream
All that protein’s really put me in a bind
My movements are a bit behind…

And it seems like all I pass is a lot of gas when I eat food now
Have to ease the pain chucking out more methane than a dairy cow
And that’s something that I could do without… friends won’t visit now!

Oh no…

Screw diet shakes, I’d rather eat nothing at all…

Well the F-Plan can f-off, I’ve had enough I need junk food now!
And size zero I believe I simply can’t achieve, I’m a plump hausfrau
And I don’t see why I should do without… I need sweet food now!
Stuff my ‘Get Slim’ vow…
Guess I’m just a greedy cow..!


* - special, fat-squishing pants - a celeb wardrobe essential, apparently...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - Well said! I don't use any food programs, but as my hair is starting to turn gray I have my own special "dye-it". ;D
TJC - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
It's the second coming of SlimFast® Shady! Tasty lyrics, Wendy; I'll put it on my playlist along with Weird Al's 'Grapefruit Diet'!
Rob Arndt - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Only 555 calories a day for you!
AFW - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
I should join you...food is a hard addiction to beat
Wendy Christopher - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the lovely comments everyone - much appreciated. I have since baked a ton of cakes at the request of my six-year-old, so this parody is now mocking me as I watch them cooling on their racks... I might go and lick some pages from my recipe book..!

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