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Song Parodies -> "Christie's Beach"

Original Song Title:

"All Of Me"

Original Performer:

John Legend

Parody Song Title:

"Christie's Beach"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

From CNN: "The New Jersey governor spent time relaxing on the beach over the holiday weekend, which wouldn't usually seem that out of the ordinary. But Christie had closed his state's beaches to the public after the New Jersey government shut down two days earlier. A journalist flew overhead and snapped some photos of the governor chilling on the shore with his family, completely alone on a sandy landscape devoid of other beachgoers."

Breaking beach rules is where Christie's found
Watching him grin while he kicks you geeks out
Now that fat slob's chillin'.... He's swimmin'.... While the tourists frown
What's going on on that Jersey coastline?
A scene that's tragical in the sunshine
We're in a tizzy... That beach bum piggy... Is in... the spotlight

He's deep in hot water
Since he crossed the line
He's sleazy since he's ditching the fines

It's Christie's beach
You're... all... vamoosed
We're disturbed... since he's outrageous
With neglected laws... He's shameless
Here on Christie's beach
He'll toss beach balls... Not you!
All his friends can wear bikinis
While he grills up some paninis
You're kicked out of Christie's beach
Since he's better than you, Boo-Hoo

Committing crimes since this governor's rude
In the sun he's frying but at least he's not nude
Think Trump's the biggest ass-clown? Now the crown's... stole by this dude
Such an oddball with screws loose
Closed this attraction and kicked off his shoes
Sand castle tweaking.... We're freaking... Once we watched the news

Hot under his collar
This prick has no spine
Those safety codes.... Are nothing but lies

On Christie's Beach
His mind's unglued
Blocked his turf from all attendance
On this Day of Independence
Here on Christie's Beach
His power's abused
Won't pretend apologizing
Thus this Gov we're all despising
Cause this is Christie's Beach
And so your vacation's screwed, Boo-Hoo

Covered in white goo
Watched him on Cable... Not sounding too smart
Scarred by his thong, Dumb blowhard

On Christie's Beach
He's chugging booze
Far from serving the whole nation
Leaving toursits with frustration
Here on Christie's Beach
You'll see that jerk snooze
His weekend leaves our heads spinning
Charlie Sheen would say he's "Winning!"
Cause he's on Chris Christie's Beach
As a member of his crew

Can't come to Christie's Beach
It's been closed due to swine flu, Oh no...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Fair guy - July 07, 2017 - Report this comment
He has a property there, you know.
Matthias - July 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Then it literally was Christie's Beach lol Still he wasn't allowed on it because he closed all the beaches down
CML - July 07, 2017 - Report this comment
What's everybody up in arms about? They have to close down the ocean so Christie can use it. Otherwise, it would inundate the Eastern Seaboard.
CML - July 07, 2017 - Report this comment
That's an old joke that was first used on President William Howard Taft, undoubtedly the fattest president we've ever had. Apparently, they closed off a section of beach for Taft, and afterward a headline went something like ........ Ocean Closed Today, The President Is Using It
Michael Pacholek - July 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Chris Christie is SO fat! (How fat IS he?) He's so fat, when he gets around the closing of New Jersey's beaches, he gets AROUND the closing of New Jersey's beaches!
CML - July 08, 2017 - Report this comment
Christie is so fat, his campaign slogan was "He keeps the pork stuffed inside his shirt -- and out of your state budget"

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