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Song Parodies -> "Vape Pens Save Lives"

Original Song Title:

"Ancient Word: Swive"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Vape Pens Save Lives"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Self-explanatory unless you've been living under a rock for years and don't know what an E-Cig (aka Vape Pen) is!!!
Low nic, new tech to cut back smoking
Where does it come from? E-cig flavoring
in milligrams from vials- Vape Bar offerings:
NO SMOKING! Ban now bypassed by vaporing. . .
Inhale proud. . .
While cutting down!!!

Vape Pens cause onlookers to stop and gawk,
vapor is hard to ignore:
Some think it is a smoking torch;
too bad they’ve all been fooled

The vapists still toke, draw and intake,
but make no mistake, “misting” is not smoke
Getting back to nic, the levels are weak:
cutting back in demand, with deceptive device

Vaping makes one feel cool and sharp
pens come in many flavors—
It breaks down into just three parts
Battery, coil, fuel

Vapists flock to Vaping Bars,
puffing away with such glee
adjustable settings in-
cidentally manage vapor produced

Vapists often prefer it that way:
rolling clouds of vapor, puff display:
in restaurants, can cause dismay,
from cigarette can’t tell apart
and that‘s when the arguing starts—
not too smart…

In seconds the misting soon breaks up and departs
no smoke involved

Patches and gum just a start—
E-Cig reduction in milligrams smart
From nicotine one can depart:
the smoker’s right to choose

Avoids the ban:
no public action
and they can use it all the time
wean away, “strive,” for reduction
and stay alive
in its form called “habit disguise”
For the most dependent, the Vape Pens can save their lives…

Pop X11, end of JAB-RA PoP Series III. Series I ran 64 +1, Series II ran 39. JAB will start Series IV.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   11
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Non-Smoker - November 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Compared to the madness of the other submissions today, this one has a smidgeon of sanity, if not talent.
Callmelennie - November 15, 2013 - Report this comment
You should thank me Rob, for taking all the troll-heat today, leaving your thread in relative peace. They were all over me like a cheap suit today -- and I don't even know what that means ;-D
Rob Arndt - November 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Who knows, maybe "vaping" is cool... ??? I know that everytime I go to a 7-11 a cashier/owner tries to sell me an E-Cig for about $8 here (Cali)!!! I don't even smoke...
Patrick - November 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Electric cigarettes might make good theatrical props for scenes involving smoking, when the actors don't want to light an actual tobacctual. Beyond that, I can't see much use for the things.
Rob Arndt - November 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Actually, the Vape Pens are larger and metallic cylindrical so cannot duplicate a real cig smaller and fragile tobacco cig or a pot joint. The misiting effect also dissipates very quickly unlike cig smoke. I think they help people that have failed with nic patches and gum as well as all the Anti-smoking societal pressure with warning labels and tv spots. The Vape pens at Vape Bars can reduce their level of nicotine in Ml so actual real reductions can be monitored and recorded. When they reach the bottom they are at flavor only and so can still inhale and mist but no nicotine. There are also those that like legally bypassing the Anti-Smoking ban in public places, even though some then fell under the rule of Right to Refuse Service to Anyone due to continued complaints from patrons that don't like misting b/c it is a distraction and "looks" like smoking. Kids also find this cool and so cig companies are investing in them to make up for lost profit and hardcore abusers can adapt the pens for pot. What a shame that someone always finds a way to take something postive and turn it negative. The Vape Pen tech is a positive as opposed to the tech of a gravity bong!!!
Patrick - November 18, 2013 - Report this comment
I once saw a woman turn an antique nasal inhaler into a crude pipe to smoke hash.

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