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Song Parodies -> "KRUPP"

Original Song Title:

"T CUP"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"KRUPP"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Krupp is one of the best-known German armaments firms in history with a combo of superguns and panzers in two world wars. In WW1, Krupp built the massive 42cm M-Gerat howitzer known as "Big Bertha" from the lessons of the Russo-Japanese war of 1905. 12 were built and used against Belgian fortifications at Liese and Antwerp. They weighed 43 tons and fired a shell weighing 1807 lbs to a distance of 7.7 miles! The 21cm Paris Gun weighed 260 tons and had a barrel of 95'. It fired cross-channel to 81 miles max. killing 256 civilians and wounding a further 620. 367 shells fired, 183 hit Paris. In WW2, Krupp was known for building over 8500+ tanks (mostly Mk.IVs) plus Flak panzers and gun-carrying AFVs. Two famous railguns were the 21cm K12 which also fired cross-channel as well as the 28cm K5s which were used in Europe. Range of the K12 was 72 miles and the K5 was standard 39 miles (with rocket shell increasing to 54 miles and with exp. Peenemunde Arrow Shell to 94 miles). The ultimate "Big Gun" was the 80cm Gustav which took 30 freight cars to carry and weeks to assemble with a 120 ton crane and circular track. 1720 men built and operated it and it was protected by 2 Flak Batteries. It weighed 3 million lbs and tossed a 4.7 ton shell out to 30 miles! Used at Sevastopol to devastating effect, taking just 9 shells to demolish the strongest fortification (White Cliff). Sent back to Germany for refit and then disappeared- pieces found. No one really knows if there was a second gun Dora or not, but parts for a second or third gun existed incomplete. With the demise of the Third Reich Krupp's fame diminished as others took over German future armament...
K’s for Kampf, two German tyrant fits,
R’s for railway guns for long-range hits,
U’s for überwaffen with incredible weight,
P’s for panzers, mostly the Mk.IVs and Flak mates,
P’s for huge projectiles weighing tons that crash through tough forts:

33 tons concrete reinforced,
then 98 feet more through floor!!!

Krupp made arms in WW1 and 2,
Krupp built giant guns with heavy crews,
Krupp in calibers up to 800 millimeters
and firing cross-Channel too!!!

K’s for kanone, “Paris Gun” made news,
R’s for roar, the “Big Bertha” 42 (cm),
U’s for urgent need, smash forts before field battles,
P’s for penetration, impacts tough to handle
P’s for powerful; bombardment of Sevastopol. . .
it took a mere 9 hits to score!!!

Krupp’s big gun, K12, made the news
cross-channel range 72 (miles)
Like the “Paris Gun”, but in WW2
Old one, 94’ barrel…

Krupp “superguns” were the best;
With several famous models
In “Schwere” form weighed the most
Krupp “Gustav” took up room
5 ton shell* load race, then BOOM!!!
Took 1720 crew!!!

Over 8000 panzers too
Mk.IVs, Flak-types, and Kugel**
Krupp Second and Third Reich booms
Ultimately the Reichs were doomed

Krupp’s fortune over too soon…


* actually 4.7 tons, ** Strange ball tank sent to Japan, captured by Russians in Manchuria

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Dave W. - March 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Krupp - Making things that go BOOM !
AFW - March 27, 2013 - Report this comment
5's and up for the Krupp
Nitwit - April 01, 2013 - Report this comment
I went in thinking this was about Captain Underpants...weird.

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