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Song Parodies -> "Villers Bocage"

Original Song Title:

"Mellow or Gruff?"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Villers Bocage"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Parody of a parody X58!!! The story of the greatest tank ace in history, Micheal Wittman that killed 138 tanks and assault guns plus 132 artillery pieces using just the Tiger tank! In his famous Villers Bocage action he took advantage of British stupidity by taking a tea break when all of their armored column was in-line nose to tail at rest. He killed 25 of their tanks plus 14 half-tracks, 14 Bren carriers, and 4 Cromwells before being struck by a 17 Pdr gun from a Sherman Firefly and forced to abandon his Tiger, making it back to German lines. Yet his action personally stopped the entire British 7th Armored Divsion cold and lengthened the war on the West front by weeks. Sadly, Wittman and his crew (minus regular gunner who was sick) died on August 8, 1944 by a Tempest firing 6" rockets. It had been previosuly believed that he was killed by a Firefly when 5 attacked his Tiger but new information casts doubt on that. Even so, he took out 3 of the 5 in seconds when the rockets hit and tore the Tiger apart. Even if his excellent gunner Matthias Woll had been in the tank and killed all 5 the Tempest would still have killed them.
Flanking out, a way around Panzer Lehr searchin‘,
were unseen towards Hill 213 in line—
Ready to fight, to make the first strike, attackin’;
instead, the troops dismounted for tea to unwind

What did Michael Wittmann‘s Tiger find?

A column of Brit vehicles stopped nose to tail
Made his strikes, real fast, tore the rear tanks apart
Motoring past quickly, causing terror;
on attack, 88 destroys
Half-track kills—the Bren carriers near the back
Lead tanks trapped in sunken lanes became easy marks

Wittmann‘s gunner was sharp. Fired. Blew them up.

Villers Bocage. Brought Wittmann higher fame
Twenty-five armored vehicles just the start
village raidin‘, four Cromwells left smokin’
his odd Tigers forced surrender
Not immune, Tiger hit by 17 Pdr
Was forced to abandon, back to German lines marched

He got his start in Poland first with armored cars;
advanced to StuG IIIs in Russia, became a star
got his Tiger and killed tanks at Kursk- T-34s.
Racked up some impressive kills but wanted far more;
moved to West for post D-Day fight, ‘44
Were in awe, the “Army of One” Villers Bocage final score
Delayed the Brit advance, small extension of war

The Normandy campaign for several weeks more…

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Callmelennie - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
I recognized immediately from your title the subject you were going to describe, Robert, but what is the actual original OS -- you know, before it was bounced back and forth between you and JAB?
Robert D. Arndt Jr. - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
I started from JAB's parody "Javelina", so ref his author page for the OS. Also, sorry to everyone for continued spelling errors and typos, all due to health and eyesight problems. My rubbed off keys give the impression of a "blackout board' so that makes things harder too! The name was Michael Wittmann and he was/is the greatest tanker of all time. His Tiger was killed by a Tempest fighter-bomber and NOT by a Sherman Firefly with the 17 Pdr. Historical correction applied in my parody :)
John Barry - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
"Javelina" was my take-off of "Mona Lisa," by Nat King Cole. And how far we have come--and will continue to go.
Callmelennie - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
For some reason, the painting of Mona Lisa doesn't come to mind while reading Robert's description of the battle, though I have seen pictures of the aftermath of this firefight.
Rob Arndt - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
A look at the extent of the wreckage of 007

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