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Song Parodies -> "Anti-Tank Dogs"

Original Song Title:

"Fossiling Togs"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Anti-Tank Dogs"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Parody of a parody X46! During WW2 the Soviets attempted to train their dogs Pavlov-style to run under German tanks, thereby detonating a saddlepack they carried with a detonating lever. They starved the dogs and then unleashed them to get food placed under Soviet training tanks- big mistake. When used in combat the dogs took off but quickly turned back to the familiar profiles and sounds of the Soviet tanks instead of the unfamiliar German Panzers! The Red Army lost dozens of tanks this way before calling off this tactic. The Germans also used Anti-tank dogs but trained theirs to loosely carry sachel charges and place them under captured Soviet tanks, then dart back for cover! The charges were detonated by a sensor/timer combo. German dogs that hit their marks were awarded the Iron Cross for bravery! No kidding (If only a German Shepherd could use a Panzerfaust) :)
Explosive dogs were a shock, none were survivin’
starved and then trained as Soviet canine mines
explosive saddles, could not abort, target trained,
climbed under, det handle pushed back- weight applied

(Kraut Panzer hit from underside)

Soviet tactics were experimental
Unleashed! Red dogs off to a short-lived running start!
Switched sides, ran back to the familiar
Red tanks rolling, crews uneasy
Soviet gunners shocked, canine attack
They all ran back; crews depart—(T-)34s torn apart!

Red tank training wasn't smart, dogs played Pavlov part!

Anti-tank dogs for the Red Army were a mistake
sighted, hard to counter, under tanks would dart. . .
didn't provide them with added firepower
Gave crews a scare—ran back to their "lair"
German Panzers were never in danger:
unfamiliar profiles and fuels set them apart!

Germans trained their canines for a similar part
Non-suicidal, placing the charges was smart
loose sachel charges dumped and then dogs did depart:
sensor timer detonated, tank ripped apart
The dogs were clocked; Iron Cross award- hit their marks!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Soviet anti-tank dog:
John Barry - December 03, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm thinkin' about it.

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