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Song Parodies -> "Foster & Co. TOG"

Original Song Title:

"Macadam Dog"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Foster & Co. TOG"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In 1939 as WW2 broke out the British thought that the same WW1 tactics of trenches and No Mans Land with ambushes of MG fire would be used again by the Germans. They had not anticipated Blitzkrieg and so when designing a new tank expanded upon the WW1 types. Foster & Co. of Lincoiln that had built the first Brit tanks of WW1 were again called to design a new tank for a new WW. They came up with the TOG (The Old Gang) superheavy tanks. The TOG I was a complete failure with two burnt out drives so the TOG II was built. This time a Paxman Ricardo V12 drove two generators that powered two electric motors for the final drive... to a max. 9 mph speed! The tank was fitted with a powerful 17 Pdr with a Besa MG as back-up and armor of 3" (75mm). It was crewed by 6 and weighed by 1941 an incredible 80 tons long before the Tigers appeared. As such, the beast was very heavy and unwieldy and not suited for combat. The 17 Pdr was formidable (with the Brit version of the Sherman- the Firefly), but not with the slow crawling and insufficiently armored TOG II. It tested various turrets between '41-'44 but then was abandoned. It now resides in the Bovington Tank Museum.
It howled, then the huge tracks screeched and it was drivin’—
Paxman diesel drove generators inside
Twin electric motors for 80 tons and short range;
17 Pdr, armor 3 inches wide

(Yet The Old Gang was satisfied)

The Brits designed a gas hog; beast of heavy metal;
9 mph- Great War thinking not too smart
“Might” be able fight a King Tiger
but it wouldn’t be that easy
Through mud it would slog—the crew in distress
Facing the 88, “might” just get torn apart!

It was cumbersome and unwieldy from the start

Foster & Co. TOG from the beginning was a mistake. . .
Such super-heavy tanks were then off the charts
Faster/Lighter was norm, with more firepower
more armor there. . . (gun) high caliber
Slay; for every loss kill the German seven
what a laugh, slug might take a Panzer IV apart!

The British TOG I and II never made their mark—
The British tank designers remained in the dark
Contrast between German and British tanks was stark
German “Big Cats“ prowled the battlefields, were sharp
TOG II abandoned by ‘44, was parked!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/64/TOG2_Tank_Bovington.jpg/1024px-TOG2_Tank_Bovington.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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John Barry - November 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Oh my TOG! It just keeps on going.
Rob Arndt - November 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Parody of a parody X44!!! JAB, I'm confident that we can easily reach 50 :)
John Barry - November 29, 2012 - Report this comment
At least!

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