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Song Parodies -> "Mechanical Dog"

Original Song Title:

"Phar'onic Job"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Mechanical Dog"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Parody of a parody X40 (re-adjusted and true). This one is about the US Army's new mechanical load-carrier, the Big Dog, which is capable of hauling 400 lbs of gear at a steady 3.5 mph gait to 25 miles out. Since new equipment has raised individual load-bearing to an intolerable over 100 lb weight, the Big Dog can carry 3-4 fully loaded packs with ease. Developed by DARPA and Boston Dynamics, the mechanical dog has excellent vision, satellite guidance, 50 sensors that enable it to navigate through all terrains as well as perform recon, and has a battery power unit that can also provide aux. power to other militayr machines and equipment! It can attain a maximum 7 mph w/o any gear and jump over 4 ft! Initial models had to be controlled by an OCU but newer versions are using voice recognition for simple commands. This mech is far more advanced than the original "Battlestar Galactica's" daggit :)
New gear adds discomfort, added weight is climbin’
With arms cocked and new stock load-bearing risks lives
tough inclines; rough hundred pound packs cause too much pain
A need of rest for weary bones; need a ride

(DARPA and BD have a surprise!)

The Big Dog load bearer made for the longest hauls
Covers distance, made from mechanical parts
four hundred pounds can bear, goes anywhere. . .
Makes missions easier
It has a HOD, plus fifty sensor kit
Obeys commands of those that issue them, no bark

Hydraulics and actuators for bones: built smart

Mechanical dog is a bad-ass, it’s hard to lick
and smooth—better than a mobile munitions cart—
battery-powered, never gets tired:
treks anywhere, through “hazard” scares
Set free never lagging. . .its load to bear
Twenty-five miles, soldiers smile, before a recharge!

Satellite guidance, Big Dog never needs a chart
operates in all terrains, even in dark
Energy saved with lightened load keeps soldiers sharp,
mechanical “Man’s Best Friend” will not depart…
http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/LAND_Robot_BigDog_and_Controller_lg.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

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 5   16
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