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Song Parodies -> "Kammler's Gambit"

Original Song Title:

"Wavy Sock-It"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"Kammler's Gambit"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Parody of a parody X26! I altered this one by not including the title in the lyrics and covering a lot of enigmatic material from 1945 in this parody. Try to decipher it if you can- but most won't have the ability, not knowing the intricate secrets of the Reich, the terminology, and the technology mixed with declassified documents while embracing vast conspiracy theories that persist even today. Have fun :)
German rocket, V-2‘s bigger kin, for killin’,
intercontinental use, NYC sky
Was meant to smash with Mach 6 crash, det appallin’.
Aim to terrify, East Coast residents die

(US cruel fate: “Sh*t! Reich strike!!!”)

V-101 never launched, sparing terror,
Red horde captures missiles stored, do not report
Soviets never share what was gathered
Skoda captured, Kammler not there
occupied with more important matters:
Third Reich fall, a cargo hold; secrets to sort

Disc craft and Bell Device facts onboard!

No longer heard, was Kammler dead, what of the rockets;
new command, Neu Schwabenland—of last resort.
Tech at stake with science beyond measure,
new weapons beyond compare
“Highjump” play? Nukes to slay? Intel was bad!!
Weapons of Fritz on a list... Kammler aborts

Reports to the Reich’s Argentine cohorts!!!
Hint: reading between the lines is even harder. A student of history would be hard pressed to accurately describe in detail what I wrote by chronology ;-)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

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 5   16

User Comments

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John Barry - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
I think this started with "Javelina," and look where we are now. Why on to 27, of course!
Rob Arndt - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
JAB... do we dare try to make it 100???
AFW - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
This is all just German to me...but I admire your wartime knowledge
Rob Arndt - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
There's lots of info in these few verses. At first, the V-2's bigger kin would seem like I'm talking about the A-9/A-10 ICBM of which officially only a prototype of the A-4b winged "Bastard" was tested in 1945 (forerunner of the A-9). However, reports declassified now suggest that the US Army knew that 4x A-10 components were actually built and in the Red advance were launched into the Atlantic w/o the upper A-9 sections armed (not clear if standard A-4s were grafted as fixed second stage) to dispose of them. But I am not talking about that rocket but Kammler's independent SS Skoda 91 ft V-101 3-stage solid-fuel rocket of 100 tons thrust with one tested in the Baltic in March 1945. Captured by the Soviets, they did not share the Intel with the West at all. All rockets captured from the Soviet Zone (including Peenemunde and Misdroy) remained classified and formed the basis of postwar Soviet "Ghost Rockets" seen over the Baltic and cluster rocket developments in the USSR. Then I go into Kammler's disppearance in a Ju-390 (the cargo hold lyrics) which presumably carried the German Flugsheiben (disc craft) and Bell Device/Die Glocke (Zeitmaschine- Time Machine) blueprints and/or components. Kammler was in charge of all German secret weapons in 1945 and vanished off the face of the earth just before surrender in Europe in May. It is believed that he was taken to Norway and then via Type XXI U-boat traveled to secure Base 211 in Antarctica (renamed Neu Schwabenland by the Nazis) where he held out as third Fuhrer at least until Admiral Byrd showed up with "Operation Highjump" in '47 to spy on and fight the Nazis there. It is rumored that the US and Britain later used small nukes against the base which was abandoned for S American sanctuaries. Last message out of the Berlin bunker was to Tierra del Fuego, Argentina. And in the '50s Argentina collected Nazi scientists and aero-designers for military purposes. It is suspected that the fusion bomb project initiated was a hoax to cover further experiments of the Bell Device in Argentina and Kammler was assumed to still be alive and later made a deal with the US for immunity upon surrender of that device and/or disc knowledge! For the record, the US denied German disc craft for 50 years and then admitted to them... but still provides nothing to anyone using FOIA as requests. And that was 17 years ago! The US declassified documents on German Capabilities for 1945 include: admission of the Foo Fighter phenomenon as German Phoo Bombs unmanned aerial attack craft capable of 526 mph and using electrostatic and gaseous explosives to knock-out bombers, the existense of EM cannons (one installed at Jonastal S.III), the confirmation of A-10 rockets ready for firing, and German disc craft, among other odd weapons. Although Argentina did not develop a fusioin bomb from their facility, German nuclear scientist Richter was there and the amount of power consumed is equivalent to the WW2 testing of the Bell Device which is a claimed time machine using EM torsion effect (I have no idea how that is supposed to work on space/time) that killed many scientists and test subjects who when exposed to time "ripples or flashes". They died instantly and were internally crystallized. Their bodies had unusual decay into black sludge and had to be burned. All material used in 2 minute test runs had to be either sanitized or burned. Xerum 525 liquid power supply of unknown composition although some claim red mercury antimony was a component. Germans were so far ahead of the Allies in hardware and conception that many of their best weapons are STILL classified and SS Gen. Kammler knew ALL OF THEM!!!
Rob Arndt - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
So that's there's no confusion on German rockets the V-2 was followed by the A-4b which served as test prototype for the A-9 version 1 upper stage of an ICBM combo A-9/A-10. That rocket had no V-weapon designation but was called "Thor's Hammer" and was intended to hit NYC with any number of unconventional warheads: tactical small nuke, radiological, firedamp, or biological. Kammler's Skoda rocket was the V-101 which was 3-stage and solid fueled was test-fired in 1945 and captured by the Soviets. Flottmann which produced V-weapon components had a design for an independent V-3 but some believe it is a giant torpedo instead! There were radiological conversions for the V-1 and V-2 designated D-1 and D-2 in 1945, but only 5 D-2s were built and then scrapped w/o the payload section filled. There was a mystery cluster rocket launched in April 1945 near the Baltic which no one knows the designation for and the postwar "Ghost Rockets" of the Baltic were Soviet tests of extended-range V-1s and the Henschel V-4 ramjet cruise missile from Misdroy. There was also a wild plan to build a huge underground cannon to fire a streamlined missile 1800km!!! V-1s and V-2s fired at sea against the US were to be designated VS-1 and VS-2. The VS-1 was to be launched off modified Type VIIC U-Boat decks minus gun while the VS-2 was to be towed in a launch tube (Prufstand XII) by Types XXI and XXVI U-Boats. These were found at Stettin with one completed and two at 65%. The massive 300 ton underwater missile barge was never started!!!
Callmelennie - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
I followed all the weapons stuff, Robert. It's the OS that lost me ;-D

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