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Song Parodies -> "Mop The Floor"

Original Song Title:

"On The Floor"

Original Performer:

Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull

Parody Song Title:

"Mop The Floor"

Parody Written by:

Christie Marie M

The Lyrics

Many consequences of a dirty, and slippery floor. Mopping floors is one of my frequent jobs in the house, next to dishwashing. But lately, I’ve been depending on Swiffer and Steam Mops to mop floors instead of the old fashioned version where you need to rinse and soak the mop before using it.
[Synthesized Pop Intro]

[Random Janitor]
Chris M.
A Slip ‘N Slide, floor we glide!

A sticky situation!

[Random Janitor]
Mr. Clean: shine!

Let’s clean up, people!

[Random Janitor]
Go mop the floor, buddy!
Go clean the floor, sonny!

Let me introduce you
To some sloppy people
They’re such slobs!


[Random Janitor Rap]
It’s loose, loose
An overflowing water from backed up drain
Spilling some juice, booze
Messy disaster, I’m going insane
Gotta get that floor spruced
It’s a crying shame so don’t-d -don’t -d -don’t
Make me work: gruel, no!
Clean up that drool, yeah!
Yeah! Now!
Now mop up, mop up, mop up all that slop
Gotta mop up that gunky glop

I slipped down hard, you gotta go mop the floor
If you have OCD, hunt dirt and explore
Go be war soldier, fight scum to the core [1]
Wipe the sweat off the floor
Put some work on that floor
Don’t stop till you scrub out all the stain spots

Hole on pipe: it’s leaking; dripping on the floor (Phew!)
Clean the serum out, don’t seep through the door
You know there’s so much crap that’s right on the floor

Oil spills, Bacteria, Chicken blood, Manteca [2]
Straight to kitchen, hallways, littered with Paprika

Get some Lime-A-Way
Scrub that yellow build up on the floor
Mold; mildew: erase
Work your body, scrub a little more

(Ew, ew, ew ,ew, ew ,ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew ,ew, ew, ew )
E.Coli: don’t infest on the floor
(Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck)
Mop slime before it marks up the floor

Sauce; splattered; clotted: scrub some suds on the floor (Hey!)
The basement’s flooding up, deep as ocean shore
If you’re a sailor, swab deck port to starboard
Mop it quick, swish it more
Shine it more
Don’t cry over spilled milk, just mop it up

The syrup spilled, molasses stick to the floor (Ew!)
Someone from maintenance, clean up on Aisle 4
If I ain’t wrong, we’ll break our necks on the floor

Marble, linoleum, ceramic and flagstone
Slate to parquet, vinyl, porcelain, tile and sandstone

It’s no Ice Capades
Please don’t let us skate on grease no more! [3]
Hurled some bile: ashamed
Germs been colonizing, we’ll deplore!

(Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick)
Oh man, that dog had pissed on the floor!
(Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick)
Someone get Pine Sol to mop the floor!


[Random Janitor, Rap]
Piles of funky junk is like a skunk hit by truck that’s a 4-wheeled Chevy
Seven day junk that stunk
All I need is some nose plugs ‘cuz my nostrils stung
Don’t want to whiff piles of Donkey dung

Buddy if you’re freaky, because things smell reeky
Go mop up the floor, don’t be a tool and be lazy, pally!
Just believe me, not boring
Game like hockey, pretend: shoot goal, you’re scoring [4]

Parquet, Ceramic , shine more
Say no more, go mop the floor

(Rub-a -dub -a -dub -rub -a -dub -a -dub -a -rub -a -dub)
All night, we’re gonna mop up the floor
(Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub up all that grub)
That’s right, we’ll make it spotless, that floor
All right, it’s clean and shiny, that floor!
[1] A reference to Julia Alvarez’s poem “How I Learned To Sweep” Julia Alvarez: How I Learned To Sweep.

[2] Manteca – Spanish/Latin for oil, grease, lard.

[3] During my times working at Hot Foods Dept. at Shop Rite, customers complained about skating on chicken grease from leaky Rotisserie Chicken containers.

[4] When I was younger, me and my brother loved to pretend we're ice hockey players while we mop floors in our kitchen and dining room.

Note: This is my first attempt at a rap parody, so I’m sorry if I didn’t pace it perfectly. However, if you notice pacing being off at the rap part, feel free to correct me if you must.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice production number, Christie...I need you at my house
Andria - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Pretty good... I only know the OS from friends and coworkers who like rap, but it paced pretty well. There is no 4.5 vote for pacing, so I will give you all 5s. My place has hardwood floors with ugly Spanish tile-style linoleum in the kitchen, 1/2 bath and bathroom, so I just use a Swiffer WetJet and a Bissell manual sweeper... hard work, but worth it. Always hated carpet, and I'm glad I have all solid surfaced floors.
Christie Marie M - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks lots, AFW and Andria! :)

AFW - Thanks, took me all night to write this, and I wouldn't mind working in your house...well actually, I'm already working as my parents' servant, maid, secretary, assistant, etc.

Andria - Thanks for v/c! Glad you enjoyed my satire. I have sandstone in my basement/kitchen, bathroom on 1st floor of my house, got hardwood in my living room and my parent's master bedroom. I use Swiffer WetJet, wet dry vacs, and also a manual sweeper, which is I think Hoover. And in regards to hating carpet, people I know are actually allergic to carpeting. Plus, if the dog uses the bathroom in the carpet, it would leave a permanent stain if not cleaned right away and would look disgusting.
Porfle Popnecker - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
This is my favorite of yours that I've seen so far. Great job.
Christie Marie M - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks lots, Porfle! :)...Glad you enjoyed and glad to have posted this one!
DJ Blaze - December 14, 2011 - Report this comment
I echo all the positive comments above, this was well written, especially for such a hard song. Our house is partly carpet, partly wood/linoleum, but keeping it clean is easy. 555 and major congratulations for spoofing this hard song.
Matthias - December 18, 2011 - Report this comment
This seems like a really, really difficult song to parody (and that's coming from the guy who did a parody of "One Week" and "It's The End Of The World As We Know It'). Very well done and to a topic I would never expect for this type of song.
Christie Marie M - December 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks lots, DJ Blaze and Matthias ! :)

DJ - Glad you enjoyed this and thanks for taking the time to comment on this parody. My house is the same way with your house. My bedroom used to be all paneled wood that's varnished, but now it's covered in teal blue carpet. It's better that way, especially during winter since my room's always cold during the winter.

Matt - Yes, a very difficult song, indeed! I remembered both parodies you mentioned and how great a job you did on both difficult parodies...well better yet, everything written by you is star quality and well paced. One of my faves of yours is that "C" Is For Cookie" parody. Glad you enjoyed this one and glad to have submitted this.
Blaydeman - December 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Loved that you challenged yourself with this one. Pitbull is extremely hard to pace, and this being your first ever rap parody you did an excellent job! I'm shocked this is your first one. Funny idea and executed to perfection! You really "cleaned up" ;) Bad pun aside 555 bottles of Pin-Sol for you! And a Merry Christmas as well!
Christie Marie M - December 26, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks lots, Blaydeman! :)...Yeah, it's a pretty hard song to emulate, but glad I had the effort to do it, even though it took me all night to do it. LOL @ "cleaned up"(not a bad pun after all)..yeah, had to "mop up" certain things in the parody b/f submitting. As for executing to perfection, I guess it explains my experience in parody and poetry writing as well....however, I have a feeling I might spoof Enrique Iglesias and do another one in the future. Glad you enjoyed and hope you had a nice holidays!!! Merry XMas to you too.
Abbott Skelding - December 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Not a huge fan of JLo or the OS, but to me, this seemed to pace really well and it was really well done too! Nice job!
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Coupla pacing mishaps here and there, but you said this was your first rap parody and I know from experience how much of a pain in the hole rap is to parody so you get a free pass there. Fantastic parody about an unusual topic to a song I personally really like, so it's 555 for you!
D-Mon - January 01, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Loved the title twist! Loved the idea! GREAT GREAT GREAT!
Christie Marie M - January 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks lots, Abbott, bobpie, and D-Mon! :)

Abbott - Yeah, there are most people I know who don't think much of J. Lo and they would find this OS rather annoying. Glad you enjoyed and yes, I tried to pace as much as I could.

Bobpie/T-COP - Yes, I do expect that I made couple pacing mishaps and thank you for honestly pointing that out. And yes, rap is a pain in the hole (explains how I stayed up all night writing this one!), even though parody artists like Matthias, D-Mon, BAD, and D-Mon write and pace them pretty good. I'll practice pacing more rap for parodies soon, maybe if I start with an easy rap song first. Anyways, thanks for the free pass and glad you enjoyed this parody!

D-Mon - Thank you, lots! Glad you enjoyed this one, glad to write this, and glad to put more work on it. Great, great, great!!! Seems like you enjoyed my parody a whole lot!!
Glen S - February 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work with this Christie. THe whole thing works great, but especially liked 'Get some Lime-A-Way'
GARI J - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Great idea Christie Marie M, you certainly mopped up that one
Andria - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Gari J: Glad to see you back, long time no see. :)

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