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Song Parodies -> "Drag My Hands"

Original Song Title:

"Sag My Pants"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Drag My Hands"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A particular Caveman happens to be a genius, but the rest of the bone heads he lives with just don't get the scientific strives he's making.
Intro: Yeah, Blaydeman
Clubs all you
C’mon, cave sleepin’ on me
All you current rappers, club-rat females
That’s enough to make a caveman flip

Verse 1: Yeah
I stalk game like a beast
So that I get a feast
I club it, after huntin’ a cunnin’ cat that went East
Why you buggin’ me like you want a piece
Just comb yourself for some fleas
And let me eat my meat, dripping from grease
See I won’t stop fool, cuz it’s a Stone Age rule
We just grunt and drool, and invent hand tools
I’m just a prehistoric, euphoric, meteoric, Neaderthalic stalker
That’s gonna get ate, if you keep talkin’ (shhh!)
This nomadic lifestyle is all screwed up
I have no favorite era though, cuz all them suck
I suffer from the basic hunters who not on my pedigree
Because on the cave wall it’s as hard as their name will ever be
I grunt ‘bout our wild customs a lot
So everybody seems to think I have sinister plot, I do
Being threatened by it, even throw a few rocks
I got some radical thoughts, for the future of us
So listen

Chorus: I drag my hands, cuz spine’s not erect
I feed on insects (Yick!)
It’s just genetics (Yeah, yeah)
And my people hate me, they all throw poo
So, tell’em I say club you
Yeah, I will show you! (Yeah, yeah)

Verse 2: To the volcanoes where I go in dead of night
You could say I have an evolved mind
I take my club out and with a line
Around the base is where my rope is tied
It went lower ‘til it caught on fire (yeah!)
Lately I been really obsessed (why?)
Cuz everybody’s sayin’ Ud’s spear is best
I tell my burnt quest, and toss my club into a bird’s nest
And watched a dumb woman singe her face, taste test (Ow!)
You don’t play with this hotness
It’s not alive, you gotta be cautious
Toss that raw meat out, it’s making me nauseous
This invention was laborious
But if you cook your food on it, it tastes glorious
This is amazing, what you being so scared for?
All you need to be as forward thinking as, your protruding foreheads are
Yeah right, you people can’t even prattle
Like my idea to raise cattle
Y’all keep on raising a battle (What?!)

Chorus: I drag my hands, cuz spine’s not erect
I feed on insects (Yick!)
It’s just genetics (Yeah, yeah)
And my people hate me, they all throw poo
So, tell’em I say club you
Yeah, I will show you! (Yeah, yeah)

Verse 3: I’m probably the smartest Neanderthal who don’t get recognized
Reveal wheels now life’s somewhat now mechanized
Untimely, when Goom was sterilized
Cuz he stood in front the gears, I told him he’d be penalized
I’ve metamorphosed and this is what unfurled?
That’s dumber that a rock from space that could come end the world
What is next now? Yeah, I’m sure that the Earth swirls
To bad all the spinnin’ would make everybody hurl
You can’t pretend I don’t exist
I see that carcass rot, swelling like an oozing cyst
Don’t make life hard just cuz you don’t get the gist
Why be so pissed? It’s hot man, and it’s weight is too much to lift
I tried be so plain and succinct
All because we’ll die and then we’ll end up extinct
Bone doofus, which we’ll always be so distinct
And they will wonder what was up, those jokes missing some links
You know why!?

Chorus: I drag my hands, cuz spine’s not erect
I feed on insects (Yick!)
It’s just genetics (Yeah, yeah)
And my people hate me, they all throw poo
So, tell’em I say club you
Yeah, I will show you! (Yeah, yeah)
1st Hopsin parody on Amiright! Please rate and comment! :) Don't be a bonehead, if you liked this parody, become a fan and you can follow me on Facebook or Twitter where you can get all your Blaydeman news updates and new releases the instant they're posted!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Far Side Cavemen - April 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey, look what Zog do!
Matthias - May 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Reminds me of one of my parodies that's a favorite of my collection: "Ugh! I Feel Like A Caveman" this is like the rap version of that song. Great parody here with some great lyrics and a great recording to back it up.
Jeff Reuben - May 13, 2014 - Report this comment
Well done,. This is one of your better recordings, if not the best, it really sounds good. Lots of funny lines in here.
Agrimorfee - May 13, 2014 - Report this comment
The biggest problem I have with rap music is when I can't follow a tricky concept that the rapper is trying to convey. I had that difficulty with most of your parody, I had to stop the music and go back to read very carefully. It almost felt like a few frames of the movie this could be (I could see it as a Jack Black vehicle) got cut here and there. Maybe it's just me. :(
bobpiecheese - May 13, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) Holy crap, this was brilliant! Lots of brilliant lines ("forward thinking as your protruding foreheads are", "those jokes missing some links" the irony of the smart caveman dismissing the Earth's rotation, etc), spot-on pacing, and just the sheer balls of trying to parody Hopsin - and succeeding! - I can't vote 555 hard enough!
Abbott Skelding - May 15, 2014 - Report this comment
Not bad, although I can definitely see why this was the first Hopsin parody on the OS is horrible! But you managed to take a funny topic and continue it all the way through. A lot of funny lines here and you definitely pulled it off, nice work!

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