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Song Parodies -> "Crypto Store"

Original Song Title:

"Candy Store"

Original Performer:

Heathers the Musical

Parody Song Title:

"Crypto Store"

Parody Written by:

Anna the Flutist

The Lyrics

What if the Heathers made their fortunes with Bitcoin and altcoins? They'd still be the demon queens of high school--only with a better grasp of how the economy works.
H. CHANDLER:
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far,
Why now do you think Bitcoin’s just a trick?
I’d normally slap your face off,
If that’s what you prefer
But I’m feeling nice.
Here’s some advice.
Listen up, nocoiner!

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Runnin’ hot
Minin’ stuff they cannot

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Hashin’ hard
Loadin’ my Ether card

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Buying this
Trading that
Hit or miss

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Promo codes

HEATHERS:
Kickin’ laws in the nose!

H. CHANDLER:
If you lack the balls
You can watch the fall,
Let inflation get to your stash.

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Woah!

H. CHANDLER:
Or you could come fly
There’s no way you’ll die
When you’re holding onto crypto cash.

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my crypto store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a noobie anymore
Then step into my crypto store

H. CHANDLER & H. MCNAMARA:
Solve blocks

H. DUKE:
Pay it out
Proof of work

H. MCNAMARA:
With no doubt

HEATHERS:
All you

H. DUKE:
Have to do

H. CHANDLER:
Watch it go to the moon.

HEATHERS:
Fiat's

H. MCNAMARA:
Not your friend
I can tell it will end.

HEATHERS:
It has

H. MCNAMARA:
Gone its range

HEATHERS:
Money should have a change!

H. MCNAMARA:
‘Course to have the thrill
Fine! Go pay with bills
Panic selling when you should hodl.

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. MCNAMARA:
Or fiat can die

H. DUKE:
Bitcoin price is high

H. CHANDLER:
Crypto’s soaring and it’s big and bold!

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my crypto store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a skeptic anymore
Then step into my crypto store

H. CHANDLER:
You can join the team

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can trudge and moan

H. CHANDLER:
You can live your dream

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can work alone

H. CHANDLER:
You can fly with eagles

HEATHERS:
Or if you prefer

H. CHANDLER:
Keep on doubting me

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
And end up like her!

MARTHA:
Veronica, look!
Ram sold me this really obscure altcoin from an Ethereum fork.
This proves he’s a trustworthy trader.

VERONICA:
Color me bullish.

MARTHA:
I’m gonna be rich!

H. DUKE:
Woah!
Honey, whachu waiting fo—

H. Chandler:
SHUT UP HEATHER
Step into my cryp-to— store Oooh woah! 

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Time for you to prove
You’re not a holdout anymore

HEATHERS:
Then step into my crypto store
It’s my crypto store
It’s my crypto
It’s my crypto store
It’s my crypto
It’s my crypto store

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - December 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Germany uses the currency above but also accepts regional currencies and the DM which will be coming back after the Euro is dropped.

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