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Song Parodies -> "Ten Thousand More Beers"

Original Song Title:

"Hundred More Years"

Original Performer:

Francesca Battistelli

Parody Song Title:

"Ten Thousand More Beers"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

This parody--my second of a Francesca Battistelli song--concerns the question of serving alcohol at collegiate sporting events. It is based partially on my own University of Minnesota's decision to ban alcohol at all sporting events, most notably at TCF Bank Stadium, home of the football team. The ban was not to have been in place at all initially--the U would have served in premium seating areas--but the Minnesota Legislature denounced the plan as elitist and passed a bipartisan bill forcing the U to sell throughout the stadium or not at all. As it turns out, the Board of Regents, overly concerned about underage drinking, voted 10-2 to prohibit alcohol. Having been to "The Bank" three times, including for the inaugural game in 2009, I couldn't help but write this parody sooner or later. It gives voice to disgruntled fans who have been unable to support their universities' academic and other programmes by buying alcohol at the game.
Stanza I.
This board of a dozen regents,
They've always incorrectly seen it,
Though the fans are rarely underage.
All the while, the jobs they're losing
Were lost because of the regents' choosing
To ban the legal sale of ten thousand beers.
It's no wonder empty seats appear throughout the place!

Refrain I.
They might win, they might lose;
But what we want is but to have some booze.
We don't know what they were thinking,
But all we want is to be ever drinking.
The regents balked; we all shed tears
'Cos we want just ten thousand more beers.

Stanza II.
The money could be used for wages;
The classifieds could run more pages.
The regents, though, are scared of kids a-drinking booze.
Well, we ain't kids; we're 21 now
Or older than that, so let them know
That we could save those jobs through ten thousand beers.
We are never getting younger, so let them know:

Refrain II.
They might rule, they might suck;
But these damn regents never give us luck.
We do know paranoid they are.
Who knows, the U could get some better stars!
We do find their rules quite queer;
All we want are ten thousand more beers.

Bridge.
Only alcohol surely saves us all;
I would say that this year is the year.

Refrain III.
If they want out, good riddance to them;
Deep in our hearts, we never really knew them.
Don't give up in this fight here
O'er ten thousand more beers.
In a time when states are cutting higher education funding, doesn't it make sense to go ahead and sell booze to save university employees and cut tuition sustainably?

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