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Song Parodies -> "Anyone Can Be a Cold-Hearted Critic"

Original Song Title:

"You Can Fall in Love If You Believe It"

Original Performer:

Disney Kids

Parody Song Title:

"Anyone Can Be a Cold-Hearted Critic"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Apply it as you will...
It takes a lot to free imagination, to
Make something new of your own creation
Be an artist with a paintbrush that paints
Or be a wordsmith turned parodist saint
Now some people believe that your words must be funny
Rhyming and pacing right on the money
But sometimes there are exceptions, rules to be broken
Need for the witty, inventive, informative, open
Paying tributes, describing what you did
And that's when the self-appointed critics start to chime in
"Your parody is stupid or overly complex,
perhaps too morbid or appears as a mess, we don't care if you're a Noob or a Vet,
if you don't follow our rules then we must protest!
Triple 1s say it best!!!"
Well, anyone can be a cold-hearted critic
Been here forever in a group full of cynics
Write about the mundane, and toilet humor
What are you 10? Failure to mature?
It doesn't really matter what format you use
The song architecture, the words that you choose
As long as someone likes it, it's a success
Pacing police just give it a rest
I'm not here to please you
Get your approval
Just make someone smile
At the unconventional and unusual
Just take a moment to think outside the box
My style is my own and shouldn't be docked
What's the point of rating 5s for your chums
When you can't even understand all the lyrical puns?
Well, anyone can be a cold-hearted critic
Pseudonym Kings & Queens whining like b-tches
Wannabe site celebs who are never quite finished
... reading what they write, just to fight in their own spotlight
It's rather pathetic, but hey- I don't care 'cause I'm in it to the finish here on AmIRight!!!

Note: this version extended and run together in more of a rap format than of the pop kids song. That is my right to adapt.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 49

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   2
 3   1
 4   0
 5   41

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Constatin Bakaleinikoff - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
When you get a well-stated criticism, pay attention. Don't demand to see the critic's parody page. It's his right to be anonymous. Assume your critic has earned his stripes as a parodist. He almost certainly has. If change you must, then change. By its nature, a parody must be witty and subversive. It is an art, and each art has its boundaries. One boundary here is to retain the pacing of the original while endowing it with surprising and ludicrous new meaning. Those who insist on that discipline are not Pacing Police. They are the critics you need. The very few who comment on your work are not your enemies. Do not automatically castigate them. They are valuable and rare because they take the time to give you feedback. Most votes are egregious and thoughtless. Looking at the first pages of yours and of randomly selected artists, the vote-to-comment ratios are as follows: John Barry -- 1.2; AFW -- 1.1; Mike Pacholek -- 1.5; Rob Arndt -- 5.6. You are an outlier. I don't know the reason. I can play the numbers game, too, but it is an attempt at analysis, not an exercise in foolish and defensive boasting, which are anathema to self-improvement.
Rob Arndt - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
In other words, you cannot substantiate that you are even a parodist here and follow your own rules. You list others that have been here years to a decade longer than me and yet by production standards, I have beaten them all. I average more parodies per any time period than all of them. I also have more artists than them and span a longer timeframe with more genres as well as utilizing unconventional materials. I also have more than 6800 total submissions as I am a Top Contributor too- all in 4 yrs and 4 mos. It is not hard to deduce your identity CB. One can analyze Phil's buddies and then each of them via author page. The links will narrow and factoring in non-American that leaves Europe and Australia. You also use the same terminology- big mistake. And again, you lecture but fail to rate the parody and not me. If anything, this parody should get better pacing and overall marks even if you don't like the message. 111 is just lazy hate bombing and that goes both ways. You are still no threat to me, so bomb away and waste your time on my threads. I do not consider you a competitor to me at all.
Callmelennie - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
What you say about critics may have once been the case here at Amiright, CB, but no more. I never see well reasoned criticisms pointing to specific lines that may or may not measure up to some objective standard. All I see anymore is the nastiest and grossest forms of name calling, followed up by the ludicrous 1-bomb ..... And if Amiright authors are taking part in this, you might want to consider the effect this negativity is having on viewership, because all these comments show up in the Latest Comments section, and at times, it doesn't reflect well on this website at all
Rob Arndt - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Well said CML. And it even hurts the site when trolls and lurkers see a fight and then decide to back an author or attack an author with both 1s and 5s. Then all the pseudonym posters weigh in. For me, this comes in cycles. Oh well, I'll just keep writing at my own pace..
Old Timer - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Looks like Constatin is a flibbertigibbet.
Patrick - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
The late, great Tommy Turtle was one who led me to carefully consider pacing and stress when composing parodies. I think my work is better for it. Outrageous or unconventional subjects don't necessarily preclude attention to these details. As is well-known, or should be, I don't use the numerical ratings system, and don't pay much attention to it. I'd rather have someone comment on a particular line or use of word play, or critique an idea I might express. Some songs are not meant to be funny, so perhaps that aspect of the ratings could be changed. One technique I try to use is to sing the parody or even "play" it in my mind, using, if possible, the voice of the original artist. If I can "hear" him or her singing it, I know I am coming closer to success. My total postings over eight years is less than 250, plus a couple under a pseudonym. Leough, whom I much admire, falls short of even my modest numbers, but his works are carefully crafted and always command my attention. I think there is a place for the prolific, and I have learned much from Rob's tales of weapons and obscure history. But, we should all try to encourage each others' particular talent and to accept criticism as an inspiration and incentive to improve. This site is important to me as a creative outlet, and I want it to endure long into the future.
Rob Arndt - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
All the greatest innovators, chefs, artists, etc... defy the conventional. Most of my parodies follow the rules, but many are unconventional. As a solid established vet here now, I have the right to shorten, extended, and adapt my parodies. I also use poetry, hymns, commercials, KPOP, theme songs, kid songs, and other materials that I find amusing. Keeps it real and diversified. I am a numbers man and love controversial subjects. That's me.
The Great Innovator - July 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob will be even more solid and established after we take him out and bronze him.
The Observer - July 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob Arndt - July 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Yes, what about the site? I am hosted there with two online books. One is on Flugscheiben and the other Strange Vehicles- both from the Third Reich. The Unusual Weapons book is on a Czech site. I specialize in these topics and am known for my works which have been listed here many times before as refs. So what? Not my site, just hosted there.
Rob Arndt - July 10, 2015 - Report this comment
My book "Unusual German Small Arms and Infantry Weapons of World War II" is on PDF. Look it up on Google. The Czech version has no intro, however.

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