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Song Parodies -> "Bad Mosquito"

Original Song Title:

"Despacito"

Original Performer:

Daddy Yankee & Luis Fonsi (feat. Justin Bieber)

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Mosquito"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

Go outside, time for a confession
I need some help, some big protection, yeah
An infestation situation, yeah
Oh-oh, they are
From sunrise on a summer’s day
‘Til the moon is shining night-time way
I get attacked by insects slowly, slowly
I need a netting suit, I need to put it on
If I don’t I become a blood feast marathon
The things are buzzing in my ear, these nasty bugs are all I hear
Baby, I don’t know if I can last long

You, you keep pushing a man and make him test his mettle
I go on vacation with an inclination, a plan
To go camping in Lake Tahoe so accelerates my pulse-o
Yeah, yeah, but the pest will bug me abnormal
Totally send me to an outstanding fuss
In a bad condition tomorrow, I’m sure-o

Bad mosquito
Need rescuing from the damned mosquito
Whether your blood is A or B or even Type O
He’ll stick his sticker in you, amigo
Bad mosquito
In the summer heat, can’t escape the mosquito
He’ll poke your ears and even your big toe
And leave a red mark that looks kinda neat-o
(Itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy…)

Need to buy some good repellant, how ‘bout some Deet, yo? (woah, woah)
Needs a scent just like latte mocha (woah Woah)
Or like chili cheese Fritos (yummy Fritos, yummy Fritos baby)
Now gimme lotion to cut the itch and heat, bro (woah woah)
Has to leave no scar, don’t need those (woah woah)
Something that won’t stain my Speedos

I cannot go, I say so, no dammit no, I would feel inconsolado
Bug bites really mess with my mojo, mommy, I’ll die off like the dodo
Take with me a can of Raid and spray the buggies, bang-bang!
Yes sir I will take my big Off spray can and shoot ‘em, bang-bang!
Then prob’ly light a Citronella candle to save me
Where-oh, where-oh, where-oh is my fly swatter, keep by me
It ain’t no surprise-uh, these bugs’ll devour me
Just hide inside my tent-o, zip closed, Good Night thee!

The jerko, the jerko, nasty old mosquito
Worst in all the land-o, you creepo, you creepo
How those bastards cause me distress-a
Always fly around my credenza
Retreat-oh, retreat-oh, nasty old mosquito
I tell you if I go out for a romp on the mesa
It will make my face look like a sausage pizza
Oi vey!

Bad mosquito!
Queer old imbiber of blood, you mosquito
Worse than a Mafia goon named Guido
Can be found near Lourdes and also the Lido
Damn mosquito
Don’t go walk in the nude near the lake, you’ll meet mosquito
Find them at parades or in lavatories-oh
And it’s the biggest killer in history-oh
(Itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy…)

Bad mosquito
It travels from Dubuque and even down to Puerto Rico
It just makes me start to screaming, “Oh my! Eek! Oh!”
Makes me run all over round just like a freak-o
A psycho!

I need no, I need no nasty old mosquito
A Wild One like Brando (Don Vito, Don Vito)
They got me dancing a polka!
All those pesky mosquitos
(Mosquito, Mosquito, baby)
I kneel low, I kneel low, the godless mosquito
They are Hell’s Limbo, mosquito, oh mosquito
Help me slap off mosquito! (oh si!)
From my head down to my big toes (but why?!)
Bad mosquito
Copyright 2017, Agrimorfee.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

E.S. Blofeld - July 14, 2017 - Report this comment
This is comedy gold! Especially love the lines about Guido and dancing! 555 for sure
Agrimorfee - July 18, 2017 - Report this comment
Thank you!
Peter Andersson - July 18, 2017 - Report this comment
So here's what happened, I copied the word "Despacito" and pasted it into YouTube. The result made this parody seem to suck. On second glance now I realized that Justin Bieber was somehow involved in the sucking. Now that seemed to make sense (doesn't it always) so I added his name to the YouTube search. Turns out I was the bloody sucker (with an anemic mind). This parody is good. Also, to help others from making the same mistake, here's a link to YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72UO0v5ESUo
Agrimorfee - July 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Thank you Peter! I picked this only because it was a Number One hit here in the U.S. Apparently, "Despacito" is an older song that Bieber recently threw his two cents into. Why it has hit so big, of course, is inexplicable. My current artistic goal is to parody the Number One hits for the year as they occur.

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