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Song Parodies -> "All Obey Me"

Original Song Title:

"Call Me Maybe"

Original Performer:

Carly Rae Jepson

Parody Song Title:

"All Obey Me"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

Possibly my last one for a bit - other commitments are calling - but I'm not letting this project go in the meantime, as I haven't got all the story told yet (I guess to non-LOTR fans that sounds more like a threat - sorry! :^D ) And this one ups the weirdness factor in the sense that it has the evil Lord Sauron singing a Carly Rae Jepson song; since it dominated the charts of the entire western hemisphere for a bit (apparently) I suppose it's fitting...

And here's a link to that original song
I remember way back when
The elves the dwarves and the men
All got together and then
Said “Sauron come and play”
Made lots of rings in the fire
‘Cos we all had the desire
To make our powers go high’r
We’re for the win that way

Well, that’s the theory
I was less than clear, see
Mine’s the best one here, see
Made them somewhat less than cheery…

Hey, I just tricked you
But that’s okay, see
When you are evil
And power crazy
So don’t get uptight
And berate me
Now do I look like
You’d trust me greatly?

Yeah, I’ve upset you
It devastates me…
Well no not really -
Do I look crazy?
So now you want a war?
Bunch of babies!
Well when I’ve pwned you
You’ll all obey me!

So they all got really cross
I told them “Hey that’s your loss
My Ring of Power’s the boss
It just worked out that way.”
Got my butt kicked for my lie
But didn’t actually die
I just became a big eye
And lost my ring that way.

Isildur picked it-
Up, bad king, he nicked it!
Could not have predicted
He would then get quite addicted

And so he kept it
Such power, wasted!
‘Til some guys jumped him
And he got pasted
And then he lost it –
Rolled away, see
Fell in a river
That’s pretty crazy!

But Deagol found it
It fascinates him
Then Smeagol kills him
I guess he hates him
Says that he got it for…
His birth-day, see
But he can’t have it –
It just obeys me!

Before you know it he is Gollum, sad and bony
And very lonely
My ring loves only me
And that’s the reason it will always try and find me
And Gollum’s kindly
Left it behind for me

Wait- someone’s here now
Who could they be?
Who is that hobbit?
A burglar maybe?

Hey – give that back boy!
Or you’ll get cravings…
That ring is Precious -
It’s not a plaything!
‘Cos if you mess with it
You’ll go crazy
It screws your head up
So you’ll obey me

And when I get it back I’ll be the Number One King
‘Cos it’s the One Ring
A piece of bad-ass bling
I’ve sent Black Riders out and now they’re on their way, see
So someday maybe…

You’ll all obey me!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Series alive, so 555!!! Sometimes as I read these Wendy I kinda picture you as a Brit brunette that is into Cosplay ;-)
Callmelennie - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Gollum, upon realizing Bilbo has the Ring -- Hey, we just hates it .... This is crazy .... What's in its pockets-es .... The Precious maybe
Callmelennie - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
This, Wendy, is the song I was referring to was so obvious; but sadly, my Muse has dried up and I can't think of any more lin- wait a minute --- Ever since it comes into my lair, I'm missing Precious, I'm missing Precious, I miss it so, so bad
Old Man Ribber - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - I proclaim you to be J.R.R. Christopher. Interestingly enough, Tolkien's colleague and perhaps closest friend was an author I also admire...C.S. Lewis. Using Call Me Maybe makes this already fine job completely irrestible. ;D
Old Man Ribber - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
"irresistable" ;D
Lifeliver - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Great fun as usual. Re. Ribber's comment, there's already a Christopher Tolkien, but Wendy Christopher Tolkien has a nice ring to it. Don't stay a way too long now ...
Lifeliver - January 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Just picked up this possible inadvertent error: shouldn't 'Said "Sauron, come and play" 'read Said Sauron: "Come and play" '? The punctuation's critical here as it changes the subject of 'said'. Just wondering ...
Wendy Christopher - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the lovely comments, everyone - sorry I'm a bit late with my response, but my son's evil teachers have been giving him WAY too much homework just lately, and nagging him to get it done is practically a job in itself (probably 'cos he's only six..!)

@Rob: Well, I can confirm 2 out of 3 - but not sure about the Cosplay thing... that's not the band, is it? (I've just made myself look really dumb, haven't I? ;^) )

@Lifeliver: I think you may be right - it's definitely cuter with the '?' And I think Sauron is being pretty flirty here - especially if Kate Bush is playing him ;^)

@Calmennie: Aha - the mystery is solved! Funny enough I hadn't really thought about using this one until I heard the line 'Hey, I just met you' in the OS - and my brain immediately converted it into 'I just tricked you.' I'm liking your lines too!
Callmelennie - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy, I actually went in another direction and used "Call me, Maybe" to spoof the novel "Moby Dick" with a song called "Call me, Moby" -- Hey I just signed up .. to hunt the white whale .. won't use my real name .. so call me Ishmael. Look for it at the bottom of my author index. I filled out some boxes on the submission form incorrectly so the title of my parody came out as "Call me, Maybe"

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