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Song Parodies -> "Call Me, Maybe"

Original Song Title:

"Call Me, Moby"

Original Performer:

Carly Rae Jepsen

Parody Song Title:

"Call Me, Maybe"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This song was penned by Hermie Rae Melvson, a seventh generation descendant of Herman Melville, who was attempting to make her ancestor's novel accessible to post millenial preteen girls ..... Be advised, the words of the song's name "Call Me Moby" won't appear in the lyrics -- I just thought that was a very catchy title
Got some ill humors in me
Swat ev'ry hat that I see
Bout time I took to the sea
And maybe hunt some whales
Found a dive of an inn
Bunked with a sober heathen
He cuddled me like a twin
But it wasn't gay

His tats were showin'
Crazed man, doom foretoldin'
Preacher, speaks of Jonah
What the hell you doing, Queequeg?

Hey, I just signed on .... Hunt a white whale
Won't use my real name .... So call me Ishmael
It's hard to look at .... Skipper's peg leg
But here's my shipmate ..... Just call him Queequeg
And some crazy dock guy .... Tried to scare me
Said he's the Devil .... That fella, Ahab

It took four months for the haul
It took three days for the fall
Nails doubloon to the wall
For he who spies the whale
Refused to search for a child
Pequod's name is reviled
Author's mind is beguiled
By whiteness of the whale

Whale's skull was ramming
Captain, Rachel damning
Hell's heart, Ahab stabbing
Why the hell don't you stop this, Starbuck?

Hey, we just speared him ...This is crazy
Just lost the Pequod .... Stove in by Moby
It's so hard to look right .... At you, Ahab
Lashed to the white whale .... And deceased, maybe
And out of the vortex ..... Thing to save me
It's Queequeg's coffin .... So ride it, maybe
Hey, I just spotted .... Distant white sail
She seeks her orphan .... So save me, Rachel

And only I alone escaped to tell thee
Escaped to tell thee
Escaped to tell, tell thee
And only I alone escaped to tell thee
The drama now is done
So I can tell, tell thee

It's hard to book write .... 'Bout old Ahab
But here' my novel .... Enthrall you, maybe
Hey, I just penned an ..... epic fish tale
Just need three more words ....
Like "Call me Ishmael"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

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Callmelennie - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Ooops, filled out the fields in the submission form incorrectly. Obviously, the name of the parody is "Call Me Moby"
Can-U? - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
... do a parody about Jonah and the whale?
Old Man Ribber - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Lennie - This should be mandatory reading for all the shmucks out there who think (1) Starbuck is a coffee chain, (2) Stubb is part of an event ticket, (3) Flask is a drink container, and (4) Ahab is an Arab in a Ray Stevens song. Delightful job on all levels. Now please excuse me...this morning, I seem to smell land where there is no land. ;D
AFW - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Finely tuned..creative idea...But we'll callyoulennie..
Rob Arndt - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Seems like this topic goes in cycles-555! I don't write a lot of sea topics but when I do it's usually about carriers, boomers, or U-boats :)
Callmelennie - January 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR, AFW and RAJr -- I actually started out doing this parody to describe Gollum's initial encounter with Bilbo. Then the words "Call me Ishmael" flashed into my brain, and I realized that I had bigger fish to fry ;-D ... So glad to see that it panned out (groan)
Rebekah Dub - July 15, 2015 - Report this comment
Cute idea you have here!

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