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Song Parodies -> "Werwolf Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Lazy Song"

Original Performer:

Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:

"Werwolf Song"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This is told from a female Werwolf's POV under Soviet occupation of the Soviet Zone after May 8, 1945. Although there were 5000 members of the SS and HJ recruited to carry out limited resistance to the Allied occupation, almost all incidents of use of firearms and explosives to kill collaborators with the Allies failed to gain support. The Soviet Zone was much different b/c they allowed the Germans to form controlled armed police and opened up jobs for women. However, this woman who was called Blonde Valkyrie actually lured Red soldiers to their deaths with her sex and also poisoned them with rat poison in their Vodka. She operated for many months on-and-off masked by work as a rubble woman but was eventually caught and killed on the spot in what became E Germany. She was tossed into an unmarked grave.
VE-Day, I don't feel like celebrating
I just want to clean my gun instead
Don't feel like picking up broken stones
Or burying remnants of Berliners’ bones
'Cause today I swear I'll be out killing

I'm going to gear up
Then dress up like a man
Grab my VG-5 SMG, head out into the dark streets
Going to kill every Red soldier that I meet

I'll be crouching in the dark,
Red rape was just so ugly
Now it‘s my turn, get revenge for where they touched me
'Cause in Berlin I’ve got cold steel in my hand
Oh, oh… I’m going to bleed them (to death)

Yes, I said it
I meant it
I’ll never regret it as a German

Allied Victory, I don't feel like celebrating
I just want to clean my gun instead
Don't feel like picking up broken stones
Or burying remnants of Berliners’ bones
'Cause today I swear I'll be out killing
Hunting for prey

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some area recon
Meet a Red soldier, chat, lure him and then gut him
And he's not going to scream out: “Za Stalin!!!”
(Atheist dog met his fate)
Ja!

I might toy around, get some poison from the underground
I bet Hitler would be so proud of me
I am a female Werwolf, they call me “Blonde Valkyrie”
It‘s so…I’m a Resistance Nazi

Yes, I said it
I meant it
I’ll never regret it as a German

Allied Victory, I don't feel like celebrating
I just want to clean my gun instead
Don't feel like picking up broken stones
Or burying remnants of Berliners’ bones
'Cause today I swear I'll be out killing
Hunting for prey

No, I’m not going to fall into despair
'Cause I am going to stay here (serve the Fuhrer)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'll just lure Red soldiers with a smooch
And then let my SS dagger cut loose
Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja!!!
Red soldier screams “Aaaaaaaaaagh!!!

No
Allied Victory, I don't feel like celebrating
I just wanna clean my gun instead
Don't feel like picking up broken stones
Or burying remnants of Berliners’ bones
'Cause today I swear I'll be out killing

Hunting for prey
Hunting for prey
Hunting for prey

Fantasy images of what an SS female might look like. Of course the SS did have female concentration camp guards and limited police, but no female combat troops. Werwolves were started by the SS for resistance but it never gained any momentum as Germany was heavily occupied and all firearms production ceased and any remaining weapons were confiscated. But many Germans risked their lives to use improvised weapons and poisons to kill Red Army troops if possible. The Red rape of Berlin was savage. Anyway, the images: http://nazimedia.greyfalcon.us/picturesy/z901.jpg http://nazimedia.greyfalcon.us/picturesy/z902.jpg http://nazimedia.greyfalcon.us/picturesy/z903.jpg http://nazimedia.greyfalcon.us/picturesy/zz10.jpg http://nazimedia.greyfalcon.us/picturesy/z904.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - June 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Looks a little bit like Laura Croft (Tomb Raider) ;-) Excellent Work Rob! 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - June 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Her weapon, the Volkssturmgewehr 1-5: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GF2AYYzlq1A/TZ9BNBN7SLI/AAAAAAAACss/vOyduvBPGgU/s1600/VG1-5Right.jpg Any German citizen found with a weapon in the Soviet Zone was usually killed on the spot. But the Soviets allowed the Germans to form Police Units armed with their own STG assault rifles. These were known as KVP and E German women also served in the FDJ and GDR Army as snipers and tankers!
Patrick - June 21, 2011 - Report this comment
I remember seeing one of those Volkssturm automatics. Looked kind of like a combination of a 1900's boys rifle with a shock absorber and an MP44 magazine. Crude, but guess they worked. There is a lot of killing still goes on after the war is officially ended. Did you ever see a movie "The Fifth Day of Peace" in which the Canadian commander of a POW camp allows German prisoners to execute two of their number accused of desertion, and even supplies the Germans with rifles for the firing squad. Weird.
Hammerhead - June 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob, are you saying that this woman actually lived or is this just a fictionalized account??? I'm confused on this one, but at least it's not a another wild song that you and Wild Whatever keep posting!!! 555!!!
Rob Arndt - June 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick, in the last days there was still normal firearm development going on. Mauser was working on the STG-45 which became the postwar Cetme which in turn came back to Germany as HK with the G-3. There was a bullpup design to and several mysterious protoypes found at Kummersdorf along with rocket AT weapons for the Heer. For HH, YES, she was a real woman that our family in Germany knew. She was executed. She was in her 20s :-(

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