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Song Parodies -> "Airports"

Original Song Title:

"Airplanes"

Original Performer:

B.o.B.

Parody Song Title:

"Airports"

Parody Written by:

Blaydeman

The Lyrics

Air travel has gotten so difficult these days. Wouldn't you agree?
Chorus: I can’t pretend that airports
And their long lines
Don’t grind my gears
I could really use a private jet, private jet, private jet
I can’t pretend that airports
And their dumb signs
Don’t cause me fears
Do you really think I’m a homeland threat, homeland threat, homeland threat?

Verse 1: Yeah!
I should use the cars, or a shuttle, or the trains
Just use a motor trans much simpler than planes
Cuz after all the purchasin’ and searchin’ and waitin’
And some the folks in the line need translatin’
And all the pandemonium they are creatin’
There comes a time when you brake and start hatin’
And when they’re starin’ at your face like a scout
And you hopin the T.S.A. doesn’t call you out
But that just how our homeland’s secured
You get a private search, soon after your feared
And when your flight delays in the night
What harm could this do? It’s a cup of Sprite!
So airports, airports, sorry I’m late
That guard stopped me, please don’t close my gate!
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight
And I’ll be right back at it, at the end of the line!

Chorus: I can’t pretend that airports
And their loud whines
Don’t hurt my ears
I could really use my own G5, own G5, own G5
I can’t pretend that airports
And their big fines
Don’t scare my peers
I should really think if I should drive, I should drive, I should drive

Verse 2: Yeah! Yeah!
Somebody take me back to the days
Before there was Southwest, before there were planes
Before it ever mattered what I had in my case
Yeah, back when it was slower to get out to the same place
And back when we were flyin’ for the sport of it
But nowadays we flyin’ to make short of it
I’m guessin’ that if I could make some changes about airports
Then maybe, oh maybe I won’t go back to court
Before the politics that we call T.S.A.
And back when ain’t nobody stuck their hands up my HEY!
And back before I had to put shoes in that tray
But this is for Al Qaeda, you suck, terrorists’ way!
So can I get my tick?
To end this headache quick
And get back at the airlines that started this shtick
So here I wait, and once again I say
I’m hopin’ we can take the word pain out of airplanes

Chorus: I can’t pretend that airports
Have not declined
In these past years
I could really use a first class pack, first class pack, first class pack
I can’t pretend that airports
And their designs
Don’t bring me tears
They could really use a big hard smack, big hard smack, big hard smack

Outro: They could really use a smack right now!
Oh…
They, they, they could really use a smack right now
Mmm…
I, I, I should take cars
Oh!
They, they, they could really use a smack right now
A smack, a smack right now!
February 12, 2012. Please rate and COMMENT :)!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The Smoking Ghost of Lloyd Bridges (Channeled by Michael Pacholek) - February 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Looks like I quit the wrong week to quit reading parodies! Johnny, what do you make of this? "Oh, this? Oh, I can make a five!"
Porfle Popnecker - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
This song reminds me of why I haven't flown since 1986.
Mark Scotti - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) This was no "fly by night"...Very well written. Even Santa has problems at airports: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/brucespringsteen30.shtml
Abbott Skelding - March 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice work...even though I haven't been on a plane since I was like 3, it gives me something to look forward to when I eventually fly again. Nice work!
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
This is yer Captain speaking, we are on schedule for Flight 555:
bobpiecheese - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) You used a few too many lines from the OS for my taste, but otherwise this was a pretty good parody. I've personally never had a problem with flying on a plane at any stage of the trip. Weird. 555!
Glen S - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
I've been flying a lot recently so this spoke a lot to me, Blayde. Great work touching on a lot of items and pacing is great. 'But that just how our homeland’s secured' stood out to me.
D-Mon - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) I've only been on a few plane (but you know this) so I probab;y don't understand these jokes as well as other do> I just don't relate to them as much. The pacing was solid and I love the OS, so points on that.
Matthias - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm heading to Florida in the beginning of April and I'm going to have this song running through my head as I get searched by the TSA and I'm forced to wait in long lines and hear whining babies. This was a good twist on the song (which really doesn't have anything to do with Airplanes despite what it's called).

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