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Song Parodies -> "Gotta Get Off To Dauntless"

Original Song Title:

"Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts"

Original Performer:

A Very Potter Musical Cast

Parody Song Title:

"Gotta Get Off To Dauntless"

Parody Written by:

jammyb

The Lyrics

*DIVERGENT SPOILERS!* This is a parody about Divergent and it is set after Tris has completed her aptitude test and found out that she is Divergent and it goes up to when she first arrives in the Dauntless compound. Here is the video of the song I used (I think that in some other videos the lyrics might be slightly different but I'm not sure) Going Back To Hogwarts-A Very Potter Musical-Lyrics and I tried to parody the dialogue too but I'm not too sure about how that's gonna go :S
TRIS:

Abnegation stinks,
They all need to go see a shrink,
But then again, that’d be too selfish.
Choosing Day is drawing near,
But my choice is still unclear,
To know where I’ll belong is my only wish.

I know it’s not Erudite,
Dauntless seems to be alright,
But is it really me?
If I leave Abnegation,
It’ll feel like isolation,
From my family.

*Choosing Day arrives*

I’m sick of boredom and all this selflessness,
Man, it’s Choosing Day, so I’m choosing Dauntless.
Hey it won’t be easy, But I’m going nonetheless!
I gotta get off to Dauntless!
I’m gonna grab a lump of coal!
I gotta get myself to Dauntless,
Where everyone’s brave and bold.

Off to my new faction, and crazy-ass stunts!
At last I can think about myself for once!
That’s what I need and all I ever want.
At Dauntless, Dauntless! It’ll be a new start.

*Officially chooses Dauntless*

I’ll make some friends and probably some foes!
In the faction where anything goes.
No way will I regret the one I chose,
‘Cause it’s gonna be totally awesome!
I’ll pull some stunts and I’ll show them who’s boss.
Show everyone that I call the shots.
And show them that what it takes is what I’ve got
Because deep down I’m totally awesome!

CHRISTINA:
Yeah, well I’m even more totally awesome!

[DIALOGUE]

Christina: Hi, my name’s Christina.
Tris: Hi, my name is Beatrice.
Christina: I am Candor born but I’m keen to prove myself as a Dauntless initiate. We gotta get ready, the train is coming.
Tris: Why isn’t it slowing?
Christina: ‘Cause you have to jump on of course!
Tris: Cool!
Both: IT’S COMING NEARER! IT’S COMING NEARER! IT’S COMING NEARER! IT’S COMING NEARER!

[END DIALOGUE]

CHRISTINA: It’s been so long, but we’re on the train!
Don’t know where to, it all looks the same
TRIS: As long as we’re together
CHRISTINA: It's our domain!
CHRISTINA & TRIS: And it’s gonna be totally awesome!
This time we’ll take everybody by storm!
Into the best fighters we’ll transform–
WILL: –But let’s not forget that we need to perform–
well in initiation to get in!

[DIALOGUE]

Christina: Aw, Will, why do you have to be such an Erudite?
Will: Because, guys, it’s not all about fun and games! We have to try hard if we don’t want to be with the Factionless!

[END DIALOGUE]

WILL:
I may be nerdy, but I’m super tough!
Check out this strength, yeah, I’m mega buff!
What I learnt in books, well, it’s easy enough!
And well guys, yeah that’s totally awesome!
But I still plan to study a lot
CHRISTINA:
That would be cool if you were actually hot!
TRIS:
Hey now, come on, we’re the only friends that he’s got!
CHRISTINA:
And that’s cool...
WILL:
...and that’s totally awesome
TRIS, CHRISTINA, WILL:
Yeah it’s so cool yeah it’s totally awesome!

We’re sick of boredom and our old factions!
But at last we’re getting some action!
Don’t take a genius to see what’ll happen...

We’re on our way down to Dauntless!
We’re moving to our new home!
We’re on our way down to Dauntless!
Where everywhere is a danger-zone!

ALL:
Off to our new faction, and crazy-ass stunts!
At last we can be our true selves for once!
That‘s what we need and all we ever want.
At Dauntless, Dauntless—
TRIS, CHRISTINA, WILL:
—It’ll be our new start...

[DIALOGUE]

Al: Oi! It’s not gonna be fun, I only transferred over to Dauntless ‘cause Mum would admire my bravery!
Tris: Um, who’s this?
Christina: This is clumsy Al, he’s from Candor like me, Al this is Beatrice and Will.
Al: Oh! You’re Beatrice Prior! You’re from Abnegation!
Tris: Yeah, and you’re Al.
Al: It’s Albert.
Tris: I’ll just stick with Al.
Christina: That’s right Al, don’t confuse the poor Stiff girl!
Will: She’s not a Stiff anymore
Christina: I was joking.

[END DIALOGUE]

URIAH, LYNN & MARLENE:
Dauntless, gonna join Dauntless!
Dauntless, we’re initiates!
Happy Happy Choosing Day, Dauntless!

[DIALOGUE]

Al: Who are they?
Christina: They’re Dauntless-born initiates that think we will be easy opponents.
Will: Yeah, but they seem to be nice enough.
Christina: Well, let’s go and get friendly with them and then we’ll see who’s the idiot!
Al: Hello, fellow initiates. It’s good to meet you. My name is Al.
Marlene: Hi, you’re a smart-mouth!
Christina: I’m Candor too, Problem?
Uriah: It’s alright! She’s joking girl!
Tris: See they’re fine!
Christina: Too bad we’re gonna whoop their asses then.
Tris: Seriously? How the hell are we gonna do that?
Christina: Easily, they’re all just talk and no action...

[END DIALOGUE]

EDWARD:
Myra! I am so in love with
Myra! How could I not admire her!
I’ll sing my love aloud for Myra!

[DIALOGUE]

Christina: I hate that guy!
Peter: Did someone say Peter Hayes?
Christina: Peter, what do you want?
Peter: So Stiff, you transferred over to Dauntless did you? At least now you’re able to wise up and hang out with a higher calibre of person!

Tris: Listen Peter! The Abnegation may be a bit dull and boring but that’s my family you’re talking about!
Peter: Have it your way. Wait, don’t tell me
high IQ, blue polo shirt, and those thick nerdy glasses! You must be an Erudite!
Christina: Hey Peter, Lay off him okay! He may be a bit of a nerd, but he’s our little nerd!
Peter: Oh isn’t this cute? It’s like a little loser family! Dauntless is really gonna have fun with you! Luckily for you, you aren’t gonna last too long!

[END DIALOGUE]

PETER:
This time you’ll bet, I’ll be the best there is!
My fighting’s better than her’s or his!
None of you are able to beat this!
‘Cause I’m gonna be totally awesome!

Look out world for the dawn of the day!
When everyone will do whatever I say!
And none of you will be in my way,
And then I’ll be the one that is totally awesome!

MOLLY & DREW:
Yeah, you’ll be the one that is totally awesome!

WILL:
Guys, come on! We’ve gotta jump off the train!

*They are now on the rooftop*

ALL:
Who knows who will be the first to go?
Who’ll jump into the unknown down below?

TRIS:
Maybe I will, you never know!

CHRISTINA:
Oh, no, that’d be way too awesome!

ALL (except Tris):
Surely she won’t be the first to jump!
She’s just Abnegation, a Stiff, a frump!
And there she goes, and wait for the thump!
She’s so brave and she’s totally awesome!
Come on and find out if she’s alright!
The wait is over did she survive her flight?

MAX: You don’t need to fret, she’s landed in the net!

*All initiates have jumped*

TOBIAS:
Welcome.....all of you to Dauntless!
Are you ready for the added twist?
Did you know that to join Dauntless,
You need to be top ten on the list?
Welcome, welcome, welcome Dauntless!
Welcome Softies, Nerds and Stiffs!
Now that I’ve got you here at Dauntless,
I’d hope that you will all be as brave as Tris.

[DIALOGUE]

Tobias: My name is Four, and I am your instructor here at Dauntless. You can all call me Four. I suppose you can also call me Tobias if you want to be punched. I’m Just kidding, I’ll shoot you if you call me Tobias!

[END DIALOGUE]

ALL:
Off to our new faction, and crazy-ass stunts!
At last we can be our true selves for once!
That’s what we need and all we ever want.
At Dauntless, Dauntless!
Where we face our fears and be totally reckless!
Not Erudite, Amity or Candor!
Dauntless!
We’re in the place that we like best!
It’s Dauntless, Dauntless!

TOBIAS:
I’m sorry, what’s it name?

ALL:
Dauntless, Dauntless!

TOBIAS:
I didn’t hear you guys!

ALL:
Dauntless, Dauntless!

TRIS:
Man, this place is cool!

.
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