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Song Parodies -> "New Star Wars Blows!"

Original Song Title:

"How Far I'll Go"

Parody Song Title:

"New Star Wars Blows!"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This one is for Peter Anderson's One Week Notice competition (Week 18) this time hosted once again by Matthias! These are my personal thoughts on the new Star Wars movie "The Last Jedi". Honestly, I didn't hate it but it really does pale in comparison to a lot of the other Star Wars movies and these are the reasons why...
Who's that standing... On that cliff near the water?
Mister... Grumpy Skywalker... "It's the end of the Jedi"
We're pissed... It's like Emo Peter Parker
His new form is quite a shocker... He's making us roll our eyes

Filmed to earn them bank, Such a fail by hacks
With our wrath we'll spank every Porg that's packed
In this video! You think Ewoks blow?
Come check out these things!!!

With each line that Luke Skywalker speaks... I'm bawling!
There's no new hoooooope! For this old dooooooope!
Flip to Finn as he sets horses free... Tension's stalling!
What's up with Snoke?!
He just croaked... There's no backstory behind this bloke!

Kylo... Shows up shirtless for no reason...
Throwing tantrums causing treason
Every time it makes me whine!
Kylo... Nearly got sliced while he's sleepin'
Uncle Luke sneaks in creepin'
It's crazy since Luke once was nice!

Rose we'll meet then die! Phasma strikes the gong!
Must avert my eyes since my gut's not strong!
Every choice is like Rian's smoking bongs!
It's all wrong, You freak!!!

It's a plight for the nerds and the geeks! We're whiniiiiiiing!
Poe's such a troooooll?! This humor's drooooooll!
Watch us seethe as Rey's dad's a nobody! Teeth are grindiiiiiiiing!
Not Han Solo!!!!!
Our charts and outlines were a waste of time!

Bovine with the lime milk to drink?! Appalliiiiiiing!!!
That casinoooooo should be vetooooooed!
Watch them spit on the grave of Carrie! Leia's sprawliiiiiiing!
Through space she floooooooats!
New Star Wars blooooooooooows!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - January 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Loved the movie, but you are enitled to your opinion. Hate to tell you, but Rose lived. May the farce be with you!
Matthias - January 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee: Oops! I remember her getting badly injured and passing out as Finn attempts to save her. I might have to rewatch the movie. Who knows I might like it more the 2nd time around.
Peter Andersson - January 05, 2018 - Report this comment
I take it the word competition in the intro was an honest mistake since this is still a challenge, or did I miss something about this special round also have a comp element? Anyway, still haven't seen the movie, missed it when I was away from town.
Rob Arndt - January 05, 2018 - Report this comment
If you're confused now, wait until J.J. Abrams spins things further in Episode IX!!! No spoiler details, but Snoke's not dead either ;-)
Matthias - January 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Peter: It’s a self competition. Thanks everyone!
Max Power - January 06, 2018 - Report this comment
Super Leia and Admiral Ackbar gets killed as an's bs.
Rob Arndt - January 06, 2018 - Report this comment
What movie did you watch Max? Leia didn't die. She went into a coma and then woke up. Luke gave her Han's golden Sabaac dice before fighting Kylo using force projection. General Leia Organa lives on with what's left of the Resistance. Only Admiral Ackbar, Vice Admiral Holdo, and Luke died as Major characters as Snoke has a secret power unrevealed.

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