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Song Parodies -> "Caucus with Us (Third Party Problems)"

Original Song Title:

"Focus"

Original Performer:

Ariana Grande

Parody Song Title:

"Caucus with Us (Third Party Problems)"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

Normally I parody only artists I happen to like. After being forced by a cousin of mine to listen to Ariana Grande's "Focus," I began to think of another political song parody, much like "Living in the Polar Age." Seeing that it's that time of biennium when campaigns for federal (and, to some extent, state) elected offices are taking place--and especially Decision 2016--I decided to pay "tribute" to candidates on both sides of the aisle who don't quite fit into the traditional major parties but have to caucus with them absent nationally strong third parties (oh, that the United States had ranked-choice voting or a list system, like seemingly all other democracies of the developed world!). Hence this parody, my 110th overall but first in well over a year.
Stanza I (Bernie Sanders)
I know my ideology, but you know it don't fit
With what the donkey says and does; I won't fall for that skit.
I'm over here for the 99
Out of 100 who wave their signs;
And if you cannot feel the Bern,
I pity all your sh**.

Let's defund all the corporate interest groups
And save Planned Parenthood and bring home the troops;
My socialism I could never conceal,
But this two-party crap is yet what's real (whoo!).

Refrain (Hillary Clinton)
Caucus with us, c-c-caucus with us! (2x)
Caucus with us (caucus), c-c-caucus with us (caucus with us)! (2x)

Stanza II (Donald Trump)
I can tell you circumvent the phrase "radical Islam";
You can bet if I do win, then I.S.I.L. I will bomb (hey-ey).
I'll seal the border with Mexico;
They will pay for it with their pesos.
I'd make the U.S. great again ere we conclude this song.

Dear Hillary, in '08 you did get schlonged;
You'd protect amnesty seekers--that's just wrong!
And as for you (pointing to Jeb Bush), we don't need another Bush
Towards 1600 Pennsylvania to rush (whoo!).

(Refrain, except rapped by Jeb Bush)

Bridge (Honest commentator)
We need third parties the balance to restore
'Cos just these two create a polarized bore.
Alas! third parties need empow'rment galore;
I think that R.C.V. will work for sure.

(Refrain repeated until end of song, rapped by both Democrats and Republicans, while Sanders, Trump and the honest commentator ad lib)
In case you're wondering, I'll probably back Sanders.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

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