Her husband only works one day of the year
He gives you toys and gifts and holiday cheer
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah, she’s kinda hot though
(Now on Dasher Prancer, little Rudolph)

You kids are nestled and all snug in your beds
Visions of Mrs. Claus do dance in my head
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah, she’s kinda hot though
(Chestnuts roasting on an open fi-yaaa!)

When hubby‘s not home, I’m getting snow on my pole
She’s kinda hot though
(Ho, ho, ho, ho!)

My friend is Jewish and I call him a snob
Has no respeeect for “jolly, fat slobs”
He’s got a watch, though (Mazel tov-y!)
One he doesn’t want, though (Under menorah)

Without fat guys or elves, I have her all to myself
It’s in our clause though
(Oh my, that’s a big tree you’ve got there)

They say we’re losers and we need to grow up
“She looks like Betty White! I think I’ll throw up!”
She’s kinda hot though
Nick don’t suspect though
Yeah Rudolph’s nose is so bright, guides my sleigh every night
She’s kinda hot though
(Feliz Navidad)

(Guitar solo)

I hope Kris Kringle never suspects a thing
I’ll go in hiding till it’s fin’lly spring
But I’m alright though (Ho, ho, ho, ho!)
Yeah, we’ll be alright though (What does he know?)
'Cause our affair is a breeze, minus forty degrees
She’s kinda hot though
(“Happy Birthday!”)

Nick’s got a camera hiding under his hat
He “doesn’t need it” when the climate’s “like that”
Now I’m in jail though (I’m in jail, though)
Please pay my bail, bro (Pay my bail, bro)
Jack Frost has nipped at my “nose” now that everyone knows
I need a date though (Let‘s jingle all the way)

Fa la la la la la la la la la la
Fa la la la la la la la la la la
Please pay my bail, bro
Fa la la la la la la la la la la
Can’t stay in jail, bro
Fa la la la la la la la la la la
Jack Frost has nipped at my “nose” now that everyone knows
She’s kinda hot though