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Song Parodies -> "Ulster Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown Girl"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Ulster Girl"

Parody Written by:

Wallace Runnymede

The Lyrics

I hate to break it to you, but yes, this is satire! No partisan stance on Catholic/Protestant disputes in Ireland intended. I hope you were sitting down when I said that. Of course, the sexism is in character too, as people with very bigoted views on any side of the dispute are not renowned for their egalitarianism. But I expect you all knew that anyway...
Now I wish she was an Ulster girl
She's been living in her green-paved world
Until now she hasn’t found no loyalist guy
She hasn’t toul’ her ma, I wonder why!

I'm gonna make her an Ulster girl
She's been living in her Papish world
As long as any fan of Rangers can
And now she's looking for a Protestant man
That there's what I am!

And when she knows what
She wants from her loyalist man
And when she wakes up
She prays forgiveness at the chapel as hard as she can!

Why’s she call me a heretic
I’m a good Prod boy, makes me sick!

I want an Ulster girl
You know I've seen her in her mummery world
She's getting tired of her incense and bells
We’re goin to the pubs and raisin’ hells
She's got a good lad now!

I wish my girl was an Ulster girl
Buy her a 99 cone, with strawberry swirls
But at her parent’s house when the priest comes in
He tell her she’s committing a mortal sin
Ach sure, what odds!

And when she splits with me
She's looking so green and all
But when it’s the 12 of July
I know that she’ll come and call on me!

But she says I'm so far from God
Just because I'm a Prod, sure what odds, aye aye!

How I wish I had an Ulster girl
She's been living in her saintly world
As long as any fan of King Billy can
And now she's looking for a loyalist man
That's what I am, what I am, boys!

How I wish I had an Ulster girl
She’ll soon be my Ulster girl
Her parents don’t know I'm in love
With an Ulster gi-iiirrrlll!
Blog: Wallace Runnymede.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

BBC - October 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Orange forever!
Patrick - October 09, 2015 - Report this comment
As long as they are not shooting at each other, things have improved. A Pakistani soldier once said that the problem in Northern Ireland could be solved by bringing in a bunch of dark-skinned Muslim immigrants to refocus Catholic and Protestant racial and ethnic distrust on the newcomers. From what I hear, this has actually started to happen.
Wallace Runnymede - October 12, 2015 - Report this comment
One thing I've noticed is that while all of my Northern Ireland themed song parodies are not pro or anti 'either side' (a lot of Northern Ireland humour is impartial in that way), I tend to get a lot of 1 stars AND a lot of 5 stars. So, I think the best assumption is that the 1s and the 5s alike are coming from a variety of people, rather than being split in the old fashioned way... As for immigration, unfortunately, there have been signs of hostility towards immigrants. I don't know how the scale of it compares to England, Scotland or Wales. I would think that over time, people's attitudes will adjust accordingly. I know that perfectly harmonious societies don't exist, but I think there is good hope for the future.

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