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Song Parodies -> "Trapped in the Movie Theater"

Original Song Title:

"Trapped in the Drive-Thru"

Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"Trapped in the Movie Theater"

Parody Written by:

Johnny Nguyen

The Lyrics

You're trapped in the movie theater.
Seven O'clock in the evening
Watchin weather forecasts on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

She says "Is this 'Wheel of Fortune'
With Pat Sajak & Vanna White?"
And I say "I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' late...what you wanna do for dinner?

She says "I kinda had a big ticket.
So I'm not super great."
I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could see."

She said "So what do you have in mind?"
I said "I don't know what about you?"
She said "I don't care, if you're great, let's see."
I said "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're great for!"
And she says "Let me think...
...What's the movie you see today?"

I said "Well, there's Cars 3, I know."
She said "That went gooda week ago!"
I said "Is the movie OK?"
She said "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said
"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like "Why would I want to see this?
I don't even see this!"

I'm like "No, I said 'opened'."
She's like "I heard you say Cars 3!"
I'm like "I should know what I said..."
She's like "Whatever, I just don't want that movie!"

Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to silence
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my ticket

It was just cousin Bill
Callin' for the third time today...
My wife said "Let it go to drink Coke."
I said, "OK."

"Where were we? Oh, Theater, Right
So what d'ya want to do?"
She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the popcorn?"
"Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to theater, please?"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes...
...Oh, here's your cars"

I step a little bit closer
Say "OK, where ya want to go?"
She says "How about Walmart?"
I said "Yeah, well I don't know..."

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "McDonald's?"
I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood...

...And Burger King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says "Just forget about it"
I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I says "I know what we'll do!"
She says "What?"
I say "Guess"
She says "What?"
I say "We're goin' to the movie theater"

So we head out the front door
Open the snack door
Then I open the snack doors
And we get in those snack doors

Put my theater in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we bring out our snack
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the theater
Heading off to the theater
We're approaching the theater
Getting close to the theater!

Almost there at the movie theater
Now we're here at the movie theater
Here in line at the movie theater
Did I mention the movie theater?

Well here we are
In the movie theater line, me and her.
Snacks in front of us, drinks in back of us.
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a movie
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the lights and scream
"Hey, What you trying to do, blind me?"

My wife says "Maybe we should see...
...We could just go see inside."
I said "I'm seeing that movie
So I ain't leavin' this ticket..."

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your ticket, please?"
I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like popcorns, a Coke and snacks."

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna want to see Wonder Woman
Instead, this time"

I said "You always get The Last Knight!"
She says "That's not what I'm great for."
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said "Then, take our ticket,
And we'll be on our way!

I wanna get a snack piece
And I want a popcorn, too
She's like "You want Coke on that?"
I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do...

...Plus we need some candy
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium Cokes
No, just one, we'll split it."

Then I said "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too see...
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right."

She says "One, you want snack pieces.
Two, you want a popcorn
Three, some candies, and a large Coke"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large Coke
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says "We're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh." And that's all
I could say, was "Oh."
And she says "Now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know.

You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more..."
I say "Great, except we're in the movie theater...
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Prime?
And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Prime,
Now tell me, who's this Prime?

She says "Oh, he's just a robot
Who goes to see him with me.
I sat behind him last year
And I want him to see Finding Dory.

I said "I know a guy named Prime.
He used to be my robot
He was prematurely stomping
And he transforming everything into cars.

He also had no smoking
And a really care about the EXIT sign."
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to see!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says "Next window please,
That'll be 25 million dollars and 95 cents."

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the trailers...

[Trailer plays]

[Click] Stay it there
Because you was getting The Last Knight
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said "Um,
I think you have to care for Thor: Ragnarok."

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't go with it."

Then she said "How about now?"
I said "Yeah, almost.
There's still a little bit there
But don't worry, it's probably just a PG-13 robot flick."

Now we're at the theater window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the theater's like,
"Well, well, well, that'll be $25,000,000.95."
I turn around to my wife, and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out Rough Night everywhere

I hand it to the lady
And she says "Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take R-rated movies here."

I took back Rough Night and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks."
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' 66 bucks.

I said "I thought you were
Going to hit the ticket today"
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?

And I said "Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change..."
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin at me kinda strange...

And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"
I said "Now hold your stinkin' Cars lady,
We won't be long."

We looked around inside the ticket
And check who wants to get IMAX
I found The Last Knight in the theater
And a couple of Cokes and a candy in the space between he seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a film short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even really great in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the movie again
I shrugged and said "OK
Forget Rough Night then"

So I pick up my theater
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the movie theater
Man, I just can't wait to see

And now we see this movie ticket
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Bill."

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Bill,
Can I get IMAX with Transformers 5?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say "Transformers 5!"
And he says "Oh yeah, that's right...
...I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of great tonight."

And then he hands me Transformers 5
And now we're finally drivin' away
And you can saw the trailers
With its opening snipe

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say "Baby, gimme Regal Cinemas,
I just gotta have to see!"

So she reaches in the theater
And pulls out Rough Night
And she hands me Transformers 5
And I pick up Transformers 5

And then I unwrap the candy
I bite into those the theater
I can believe it who want to see this
They forgot Cars 3!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 3
 

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