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Song Parodies -> "She Riffs Away"

Original Song Title:

"Drift Away"

Original Performer:

Uncle Kracker or Dobie Gray

Parody Song Title:

"She Riffs Away"

Parody Written by:

jango

The Lyrics

It's about a mean old grandma with Alzheimer's.
Day after day she's more confused,
You could see the light through her poor old brain.
You know granny's mind, it's takin a snooze-
And she's talking strange, aint it a shame?

She used to beat boys and tan my hide,
Now she gets lost when she goes outside
And drifts away.
"Come get your treat, boys", she used to say,
When we got close she'd make us stay,
And riff away

Won't you take her away??

Caring for her is a waste of time,
She don't understand a thing I do.
When she freaks out she's so unkind,
But she can't count to two,
So I carry her through.

She used to nag me about my hair,
Now she gets lost and she just don't care
She drifts away...
She can't remember her name or the date,
But just let me be five minutes late
And she riffs away.

And when her mind is freaked,
You know she really can be moody.
But when her lips are blue,
I think her death is gonna soothe me:

(I'll say:) "Thanks for the damage you've done to me.
I want you to know I believe that it's wrong.
Abusive, reclusive, and downright mean..
You've shown me the funk
In dysfunctional."

She used to beat boys and tan my hide
Now she gets lost when she goes outside
And drifts away.
Ain't it a cheat boys that she's so rich
I have to be nice to the mean old b----
When she riffs away?

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User Comments

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EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Aw, that's so terrible. I feel bad for the old lady. Fives anyway.
jango - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't feel badly! I made it all up after reading the supremely corny novel "The Notebook". I was forced into reading it by my best friend who said it was her "second favorite book ever." I'm still trying to decide what her number one book was...remember Jonathon Livingston Seagull? Maybe that. Anyway I read it out of loyalty to my friend and was resentful and aggravated by its predictability and stupidity...until the very end. Feel better now? I do.
Meriadoc - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember Jonathan Livingston Seagull (sudder!). What is 'riff away'? Some strange young'un lingo I guess I am not up on.... :-)
jango - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Riffing can be good (guitar solo) or it can be bad...like, you know, one of those long-winded rants that grouchy people tend to inflict on people. As in: "She totally riffed on me about the hole I burned in her shirt." Only usually the victim is more innocent, I think.
@$$ - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
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