Stuck in a stall in an old rest-station
Nursing a bout of constipation, hey hey hey
There's lots of straining and stomach pain
But all I make is some methane, hey hey hey
I'd like to return to my car real soon
but I fear that it'll be next June, hey hey hey

Tell me, with my pants puddled at my feet
Should I try to change the way I eat - add fiber to my diet?
I think that I might try it.
Tell me, do you think then I might find
a blow out from behind
or just keep misting all the bathroom air 'round here?

When I ran to this old rest station
I brought no books for recreation,hey hey hey
It's been 5 hours I've first sat here
And in my thoughts I'm starting to fear
I'm here for good- its a story 'bout a man, spent 2 years in the can with a sluggish colon.

Tell me, with my pants puddled at my feet
Will I ever get the chance to dance and see the the light of day
And head back on my merry way?
And tell me, what caused this clogged behind?
Was it the twinkies or the wine?
My eyes keep misting from the fragrant air 'round here!

Well I'd been eating some home fries and deep fried chicken,
Now that bird is sticking up in me -
Brother, is that chicken strong!
Man, I wish I had ex-lax, fiber pills or, five cups of metamucal
I want the best suppository that they ever made . . . in me

Tell me, with my pants puddled at my feet
Will I ever get the chance to dance and see the the light of day
And head back on my merry way?
And tell me, what caused this clogged behind?
Was it the twinkies or the wine?
My eyes keep misting from the fragrant air 'round here!