We don't like to go get neutered,
We don't care what we eat.
We just want to sit, and to slobber a bit,
Thinkin' of doggie treats.
When you call us over to pet us,
An' tell us to sit and to beg.
We just do it for the fun and when you get done,
We jump up and hump your leg.

Well, that's the truth about dogs.
Yeah, that's the truth about us.
We like to sniff the breeze and mark the trees,
Bark, an' growl, an fuss.
It don't matter what look we give you,
When we come draggin' in.
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' we're probably gonna hump ya again.

We hate to wear choker collars.
We like Alpo an' rawhide chews.
We run back and forth like fools, breakin' all of the rules,
And shreddin' your fav'rite shoes.
We don't really wanna sit and roll over,
Truth is, it's a thing we dread.
The only reason we do is 'cause we know it leads to,
Gittin' pats on our head.

Well, that's the truth about dogs.
Yeah, that's the truth about mutts.
We'd rather scratch the walls and lick our balls,
Than work on our tricks and kiss your butts.
Though we let you rub our bellies,
Every now and then,
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' we'll probably shred your Nikes again.

Well, if you want to know why our breath's stinkin',
We'll answer that with ease.
It's usin' the throne for drinkin',
After all we're just d-o......

Geez, that's the truth about dogs.
Yeah, that's the truth about hounds.
We like to flush out quails an' chase our tails,
Scratch, an' bark, an' hang out the window driving around.
It don't matter what look we give you,
When we come a-crawlin' in.
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' we'll probably slurp the potty again.

We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' we'll probably slurp the potty;
Sure, we'll slurp the potty;
You know we'll slurp the potty again,

An' that's the truth about dogs.

(Try flushin', son.)