(Mr. Cao,
You're free to go,
So I guess this means I'll see you tomorrow, eh?
Ha ha ha!)

Yeah!
Yeah!
Ha ha,
Guess who's here!
iisryan,
Chaoskid,
Here we go now!

I'm a puppy petter,
Grabbin' treats to get a,
Nice soft, fluffy dog to come up, walking over here,
Oh man, you'd better bet that I'm a,
Puppy petter,
I'll be the first to pet it, homie,
You can pet it, just don't get in the way of the pug or poodle,
Man, "cuz I'm a puppy petter,
I go out walkin' to the pet store so I'm always loaded up on dog treats,
Don't make me have to run around to pet her,
With your doggy, cryin',
Because the whole day I was tryin',
To hold your puppy up like a Care Bear,
Man, I'm a puppy petter,

Man, they bite because, to dogs, I'm drawn,
I've gotta catch "em all like they were Pokémon,
I watch them wag their tails and I fall in the trap,
I just must pet them and must write this rap,
I've got licks on my neck drippin' like maple sap,
And my shoes are covered, to the tongue, in dog crap,
In the old days, we used to fill the water in the doggy bowl,
Now we givin' toys to dogs the flavor of a pistachio,
It's phony,
For them to consume in a full Elvis costume,
Sellin' squeaky toys and teats like I'm the Dogfather,
Two bones in each hand,
Run and play fetch,
Whether the dog's a boy or the dog's a bitch,
Givin' them some kibble right out of our hand,
And see what kind of dogs live in Amsterdam,
I like everything, cavaliers to St. Bernards,
I'm killin' fleas in their fur and taking nice scratch and bite scars,

I'm-a knit a sweater,
Grippin' on my needles,
Seein' how it feels,
Man, it's chilly, if you think you're going out there,
Without a warmer sweater,
You'll be the warmest, you'll see, homie,
You can touch it, just don't get in the way of my needles, man,
"Cuz I'm-a knit a sweater,
Because it's looking rather cold out and I don't want you to freeze in the snow,
For now, just sit down over by the fire,
Sippin' on your coco,
With your blanket in a choke hold,
Before you run around outside "cuz I'm-a knit a sweater,

Since winter has come, it would be quite dumb,
To go outside in this weather, your face would get numb,
So have some fun,
Indoors while I finish that,
And then you can engage in your wintertime merriment,
I'm sitting in my rocker,
In hand knit socks, for,
My feet, I made myself, don't leave me while I talk to you,
So, just for today, I wouldn't go out to play,
And I'd just sit and stay here and your comfort won't pay,
So cuddle in your bed, your head will not turn red,
While I bring to you more coco, maybe stew,
Check the weather and watch it on the news,
The snow will be around deep into the winter blues,

I'm a horse-race better,
Grippin' on my two dice,
Uppin' the bet price,
Man, you crazy if you think I'm-a give up,
I told you, I'm a horse-race better,
I'll never fold or stay back, homie,
You can bet here just don't get in the way when I set my cards,
"Cuz I'm a horse-race better,
I go out to all of the casinos and they always seem to recognize me,
They always treat me, respected, so much better,
I'm a higher roller,
Got diamonds "round my baby's stroller,
You don't know my strategies, man,
"Cuz I'm a horse-race better,

I get fat after all these buffets I eat,
And I get tired going to all the shows I see,
Dollar bills all down my back,
I'm not giving any slack,
If you lose, bet on a black,
Can't get your money back,
Listen, homie, I've got quite a wealth of money,
So the hotel casinos always treat me funny,
Like I'm some sort of king,
I think that all that they're seeing,
Are my mass amounts of green,
I once even shook hands with the English queen,
The horses are back,
And, of course, it rose my salary cap,
I give a percentage to charity because I'm just nice like that,
What you know about dice, cards, and slot machines?
Or the respect of lesser human beings?
It's the Vegas tycoon, homie,
You all know me,
See me on MTV and channel 40,
I was completely dirt broke but now I've got this stack,
And now these people treat me like I was Christ come back,

I'm a table setter,
Grippin' forks and a knife,
Pourin' wine for his wife,
Man, this is quite a way to spend my life,
I told you, I'm a table setter,
I'll clean those plates up for you, homie,
You can cook it just don't get in the way,
When I'm carrying the raw-meat shredder, man,
"Cuz I'm a table setter,
I don't expect to pick up a tip but it's always nice when they leave something,
Oh, here's your chocolate mint you asked for,
I'm through the kitchen flyin',
With pork so fresh, it's still dyin',
I don't know if I ever want to leave "cuz I'm a table setter.