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Song Parodies -> "Need To Shave My Wife"

Original Song Title:

"How To Save A Life"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Fray

Parody Song Title:

"Need To Shave My Wife"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Trust The Wolf...
Steph looks so strange I'm forced to gawk
That foxy babe transformed into a fox
Muscles are mighty by the moon
She's so unsightly, Used to swoon
Some sort of weirdo gypsy rhyme
Her hairy chest got worse than mine
Beware she shines some massive fangs
When she starts to hunger I'm afraid

Stripped down to her thong she starts to blend
This fling is wrong don't dig Furry sex
Once I told her "Nice pups!" I changed my mind
Now I must go and shave my wife

This curse blows and makes me stressed
Livestock is mauled, A bloody mess
Her claws ripped up my new fence
Terrorizing citizens
Spell makes me pissed her fangs are long
Our flings have turned grim with those prongs
Now she's outlawed by our group
The town has plotzed since she grew

Our neighbors formed a throng, Pitchforks in hand
With chants and songs due to impureness
And they won't knock it off until she dies
To save her I must shave my wife

Fur lines her skin but not by choice
She's on all fours and makes a howling noise
Bites people who move too slow
They're armed with their guns, They're swallowed
I must do one taboo thing
Or she'll be split for furnishings
In your space that rug will be placed
That's why I need a barber for my dame

Hairy like a dog her coat's so dense
She guzzled grog so she's much less tense
With razors and makeup she'll look alright
Here's my hope to go save my wife

They're hoping she's flogged since she offends
Within the fog folks shout gibberish
Steph is getting cleaned up won't cause a fright
She'll be shown and I'll save her life

Need to shave my wife...

Need to shave my wife...

Wish this was a bong-trip, It's torment
Please strike the gong on this awkwardness
Now I'm getting fed up, She tries to fight
This werewolf gave me such a bite

Now I'm super strong this is the best
My hair grew long in ripped clothes I'm dressed
Now I have given up on shaving thighs
I'll munch bones and hunt with my wife
Now won't shave my wife

Now won't shave my wife

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - September 20, 2016 - Report this comment
Monstrously good- 555!
Callmelennie - September 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Have no clue about the OS or the band, but if it's Matthias and the topic is spousal back shaving ... well, it's gotta be good, amiright, amiright, so 555 ......... BTW, they say no activity builds more intimacy between a man and wife than a husband's shaving a wife's ........... back
Matthias - September 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Well Callmelennie it's more about shaving a wife's... everything... because she's a werewolf but thank you. :-) Also my security code is PDA as in public display of affection.
Peter Andersson - September 22, 2016 - Report this comment
I see a Bic:ed Moon Rising...
Max Power - October 04, 2016 - Report this comment
I have a question, does a werewolf count as "furry"?
Callmelennie - October 04, 2016 - Report this comment
BTW Matty, after some intense psychoanalysis it was determined that my recent outburst of Wooly Bully parodies can be traced back to viewing this song. I just thought you should know that ;)
bobpiecheese - October 04, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Unique solution to discovering that one's wife is a werewolf. Uproariously funny stuff here, Matthias, with a surprisingly sweet ending. 555!
Abbott Skelding - October 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff...a lot of detail and great lines through the whole song. Great spoof just in time for Halloween.
Blaydeman - October 07, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I really liked the sweet aspect this had. Even though she's a werewolf, he sticks by her. That's romantic. However, if you were to shave a werewolf, she's still a werewolf, so you'll just have a bald werewolf.... Doesn't really solve anything. But I loved it nonetheless!
Matthias - October 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Blaydeman: Sure, I know that and you know that but this poor guy with a werewolf wife doesn't know that

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