Step one: she says we need to talk
I gawk, she says "sit down, it's just a talk"
I wonder what this is about
And then she cries; begins to shout

"You know when you had sex with me?"
She pulls out the E.P.T.
I hang my head; I'm filled with shame
I begin to wonder why I came

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life

She looks at me all depressed
A weight is sinking in my chest
I wonder what we'd drunk that night
I bet that it wasn't Sprite

I knew that I'd done something wrong
As soon as she removed her thong
I wasn't well-protected
Now the kid is unexpected

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life

She begins to raise her voice,
I tell her, HEY! At least you have a choice
Think about your options
Hell, there always is adoption

You can do one of two things -
Have the kid and everything, or
"Abortion's legal," I proclaim
Man, I begin to wonder why I CAME!

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life
I'd create a life...

I'd create a life...

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life

Where did I go wrong with you, my friend?
I thought you had had your diaphragm
I would not have banged you all night
Had I known I'd create a life
I'd create a life...
I'd create a life...