"Cocktail"

[spoken]
This is the greatest and best drink in the world... Cocktail.

Long time ago me and my brother Carl here,
we was drinkin' in a cold and stinking pub.
All of a sudden, there stood a ugly barman... in the middle... of the pub.
And he said:
[sung]
"make the best drink in the world, or I'll crush your balls." (balls)
[spoken]
Well me and Carl, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."
[sung]
And we made the first drink that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Drink in the World, it was The Best Drink in the World.

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
I've drunk a lot of drinks that taste like pee,
It was destiny.
Once every couple of weeks or so,
When I can't get a girl and I sleep with a ho
You don't want to know...

Needless to say, the barman was stunned.
Quick splash with his pint of ale,
And the man was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you barmen?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but students."
Drink!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not The Greatest Drink in the World, no.
This is just a cocktail.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Drink in the World, no, no.
This is a cocktail, oh, like The Greatest Drink in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Drink in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' drink the greatest drink in the world.
[2-part skat]
[spoken]
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the drink we made on that fateful night it didn't actually taste
anything like this drink!
[sung]
This is just a cocktail! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
[skat]
All right! All right!