Cor, phew! Stinks like putrid cheese in here!
Drat, it seems that my kid's pet's deceased oh, dear!
Quickly hide the tiny whiskered corpse adieu!
Swirling grave now speed to the pet store!

Cuz my son's pet mouse died,
And I'll cop the blame!
I'm in deep doo-doo,
Quick, get another!
The pet shop sells budgies,
And puppies and geese!
Due to my boo-boo,
Need a mouse real soon!

All those times that I killed my kid's cute pets flushed the tombs!
I've replaced four pythons, seven cats oh, and a gnu!
Oh, I tri-ied to disgui-ise those misfortunes when pets died!
Now I hasten, hide another one

Cuz my son's pet mouse died,
And I'll cop the blame.
I'm in deep doo-doo.
Quick, get another!
The pet shop sells doggies,
And guppies and bees.
Due to my boo-boo,
Need a mouse real soon!

[instrumental whilst searching through dozens of possible surrogates]

Nose too bright!
Fur too light!
Much too pasty!
It's tail's too wide!
Kid will tell,
It's a fake!
Scoured the shop!
No match could make!
So I'll try,
Now instead.
To play dumb,
Innocent.
Go back home,
There my son lies, dead Oh, great!

Now my grumpy spouse cries
And I sulk in shame.
Son's now a dodo,
This irks his mother.
I've killed his Sea Monkeys,
His donkeys and sheep.
But him down the loo? Oops!
I'll adopt anew...